Kids and Theatre: Writing Plays for Youth

Artist Statement

2012-01-30T12:41:00.000-08:00

Occasionally submissions require an artist statement. In general, I tend to grumble about them - thinking that you are putting on paper what "they" want to hear as opposed to what "you" want to say. I would spend a few days on them and move on - hoping my work would suffice.

This autumn, something changed. I looked at my body of work with new eyes. For someone who has written plays involving, Shakespeare, time travel, 9/11, fairy tales, promoting peace in the playground, the 1969 moon landing, a code red lockdown, and my share of folk tales (I've never lost my love for folk or fairy tales), I was sure my plays had nothing in common beyond a keen interest in a specific story that held me in its grip.

I was wrong. 90% of my plays had a common thread. I am simply enchanted by the magical. And not just the magical occurrence inherent in fairy tales - the magic in the ordinary life. The magic that makes you look, stare and sigh at something new. Or something old - now seen with new eyes. As I work on Finding Otto Schmidt, I thought the core of the play would be physics. But it isn't - it's the magic that is in physics.

I worked for a month on the artist statement. I don't know if it will bear fruit. I do know that it was a month well-spent. One shouldn't remain clueless about one's work.

Writing Rituals

2012-01-23T13:06:00.000-08:00

Writing Finding Otto Schmidt has had more false starts than any other play I've written. It takes me hours of avoidance (cleaning to avoid writing) to settle down. It's not that I don't care about this play, it's not that I'm not passionate about it. It's a play that has been yearning to come out for many years. I just haven't devised a way to ease into the world.

Rituals. I often have them. Before settling down to write Under a Midsummer Moon, I had a stash of Yeats poems that instantly put me into the play. When writing Wish You Were Here, I played a sonata. All I needed for the Chanukkah-Christmas Pact was the Jewish Star from Cockamamie Tales from Chelm to remind me of the poignant holiday season in Billings, Montana, 1993.

I review my notes on Otto Schmidt every time I sit down to write. I can be a parrot - spouting names, dates, and honors given to the multi-faceted Otto. I can regurgitate verbatim the tale of the Russian Titanic - the ill-fated Chelyuskin. I am equipped to write a history paper - not a play.

I know the characters, their bios, their yearnings, their needs, their quirks. But somehow I lost focus on the play. I have been reading about Otto to intuitively feel the plays' world. Losing track of transitions and nuances along the way because the play really is about Miranda. Otto is the catalyst. Miranda is the center. How can I, the playwright be so dense to not realize the core of my play?

So I search for my ritual. It might be Strawberries by Edwin Morgan - yearning, simple, nostalgic. Or possibly Paul Simon's Father and Daughter. In my corner of the world, a good ritual helps the play yield to me. It soaks through me and spurs me into action. I'll try on words and music looking for the best fit. It's worth the time. Better to spend time with poetry and song than to clean in avoidance.

Empathy

2012-01-04T09:41:00.000-08:00

2012 came quickly and with it were two requests for letters of recommendation for college from two young performers. Happily, these are teens I have known for many years and whose work has always brought me happiness and even joy. I have come across many teen performers who work very hard and are talented. (Talent is nice, hard work is better.) I reflected back on my work and was trying to pinpoint why I had loved working with these two teen performers and why their work was successful.

Empathy. They are both very different in their approach to work and their sensibilities are varied but they both embody an empathetic approach in working on their characters, dealing with cast members and reaching across to the audience. There is care and respect for all. Knowledge that while striving for some sort of perfection on stage, imperfection has its place. Actually it is needed. Together you are creating a truth - not perfection. Rather than shutting down when their work did not live up to their own high expectations, they resolved to uncover the humanity. They would leave their comfort zone and reach out to others while exploring within themselves.

What works best on stage for me are the moments created that never existed before. They were on a page or in a heart. But they never manifested itself until the actors created them - until the actors moved past themselves into a new level of trust and understanding.

I have never put "Wanted: empathetic actors ..." on an audition notice. I suppose it conjures up images of dewy-eyed, hypersensitive performers with their hearts on their sleeves. But that's not it at all. It's humanity. It's trust. It's respect.

I need a physics muse

2011-12-12T12:23:00.000-08:00

Writer's block. Sometimes it's physical.

I cannot move a purring cat. I think it's a physics law. The universe will fall to pieces if I move him.

In truth, what I call Writer's Block is also called "avoiding writing." It creeps up on you. I am almost as good at avoid writing as I am at avoiding exercise. It's an art by itself.

I cannot just "show up" and stare at a computer screen hoping the muse arrives in a timely manner. I know I will start to fidget and suddenly the game of solitaire will become the most important thing in my life. I am writing a bit about the laws of physics and it has occurred to me that maybe my muse doesn't understand physics. Which is a problem. I don't understand physics either.

When desperate, there's always research. Which can be a great-grand time-waster - you can feel noble because you're working on the play. You're just not writing the play. If you're researching a Russian scientist (google translate is not always clear) who has a theory of the Origins of the Universe and you don't really understand it but it's the crux of your play - a circular pattern develops (is that a law of physics?) and the actual writing of the play is not in the circumference. My original plan was to read the theory over and over until I finally understood it. I now have it memorized and can regurgitate it back to you - but still no closer to grasping it.

Somewhere in my time-wasting, not-writing meanderings I came upon a playwright who stated "I always write on a subject I know nothing about in order to challenge myself." She got a lovely, hefty grant and this method seems to work for her. Not working for me.

I do remember leaving my last science class ever - ever and thinking "I never have to visit that stuff again."
I'm now immersed in "that stuff" and am visiting "that stuff" daily. Somewhere in that great expanse of the universe is a physics law that is laughing at me. Chortling. Throwing high fives. Gotcha. Yeah, the laws got me. I successfully ignored physics for decades and now it's payback.

The play is for young audiences. Not only do I have to understand physics, I must present it in a way that engages young audiences. Oh, slam! I'm going to return to my research now. Later, I'll do my think-walk hoping to jar one word that is worth writing down - giving me a sense of accomplishment for the day.

"How was your day? Write anything?"

"Yes," I could honestly reply. I don't have to offer a word count.

You Never Know

2011-10-24T14:02:00.000-07:00

One of the advantages to "being in the trenches" with the kids and my plays for so many years is listening to their assessments among each other. During a break, I heard many students in a corner mentioning a play of mine - that was - well - a wee bit messy - as their favorite of the 6 or 7 plays they had done with me. They had fun. Don't underestimate having fun. Kids don't have a lot of free time these days and they choose their activities according to many factors - "fun" being one of them. I'm still working on cleaning up that play.

"Really?" I wanted to say. That was your favorite? But I remained quiet.

In another corner students were discussing two plays - one a collection of lesser-known Brothers Grimm tales and the other one about a girl stricken with polio who learns to dream again. I gave my heart and soul to Meet Me at the Fair. Agonized over it for months. Worked at heightening the theme, dusted away too much sentiment - making the large cast of characters multi-faceted. While In the Village of the Brothers Grimm soared through my fingertips. No heartache involved. And in the end - I was satisfied. I thought it very well-crafted and liked how I pulled the tales together. But it didn't tug at my heart as much as Meet Me at the Fair.

And in a little corner of the theatre, the teenagers all agreed. In the Village of the Brothers Grimm was their favorite. Of course the Brothers Grimm is published by YouthPlays and my dreaming at the fair play is "at large."

You never know.

September 11, 2001

2011-09-10T12:35:00.000-07:00

"I got up early and listened to the radio for what to do with my day. If a deejay told me to go outside my home at 5 p.m. with a candle - I did it. When they said to drive around with your headlights on at 6 p.m. - I drove around with my headlights on. I rushed home from work and was on the computer reading e-mails about 9/11. I printed everything. The mounds of paper grew. I couldn't go to New York, so I brought New York to me. It had been four - maybe five years since I took Sam and Sara to the city. We were there for the "dog days" in August. I took pictures of them on Ellis Island with the Twin Towers in the background. We were supposed to go to the top of the Trade Center next. The kids had had enough. And I thought - next time we're here, I'll take them to the top. Next time."

Excerpt from By Candlelight

"In the deserts of the heart let the healing fountain start." - Auden

Why Write a Play?

2011-09-08T06:28:00.000-07:00

"Just why did this playwright break the great silence of the universe to write this play"
- Dr. William Morgan, Professor University of Nebraska

From Timothy Mooney's insightful book Acting at the Speed of Life.

Something ponder as I edit Under a Midsummer Moon.

Under a Midsummer Moon - a new journey begins

2011-08-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

The Scavenger Hunt from Under a Midsummer Moon; photo by Joan Elwell

I just closed the educational, large-cast production of Under a Midsummer Moon and was staring at pages deciding how to edit, what to change, what to delete and how to heighten the story and conflict when the phone rang. And Aaron Frankel was on the line. Aaron was my acting teacher "once upon a time," and has fulfilled the role of mentor for me throughout my adult life. Everyone needs an Aaron Frankel in their life.

"Hello, darling" came the welcome voice from New York. "I can tell you how to fix the play." "It's cinematic and needs to be theatrical. It needs an engine." And while I spluttered and danced around what I thought the play was about, he cut to the quick. "It's the journey. At the end of play, David and Russell have made a start. They're figuring out how the journey works. Who you share it with. The deliberate choices that are made. The engine of the play is the journey. Think about the destination."

And so a new journey begins. For me, for the play and for the characters. I've yet to figure out the destination - but at least I'm moving forward.

When award-winning plays do not translate into productions

2011-08-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

Photos by Joan Elwell

In 2007 I wrote a play that was and is near and dear to my heart - By Candlelight. Yes, it chronicles the days following 9/11. Yes, it brings up the subject of hate, the holocaust and yes, it is ultimately about healing and coping after the terror attacks. Most importantly, it centers around my childhood friend. A sweetness of a girl that greatly influenced my life. Who died in the terror attacks. The play is never done. It was published by Playscripts three years ago and just has not caught anyone's fancy.

It is a true story - and the supporting stories are also true. Heck, the tales of chocolate truffles are also true! It's a celebration of connecting - even during dark hours. And a glimpse back into a more innocent time. It is not "beat-your-heart" sturm und drang darkness. It is filled with humor - because humor remains an important coping tool. It was developed at the Bonderman Symposium in 2007 and won the Aurand Harris Memorial Playwriting Award that same year. It has good healthy bones and great legs for walking. After the Bonderman and Aurand Harris honors, I had high hopes. And because the story is so close to my heart - I wanted this tale told.

Productions do not necessarily follow awards or publications. What professionals in the field deem worthy of a few hours of your time does not always coincide with what directors and teachers are looking for - indeed my list of 2011 productions state that. Sixteen years ago, I wrote an exceedingly silly play - much ado about absolutely nothing. A play that I thought would run it's course in one year. Last spring - sixteen years after publication, that play had five productions.

Is the nature of an award-winning play at odds with the culture and climate of theatre for young performers? Is Cinderella safer, easier, more fun or more "sellable" than an unknown play about 9/11? Theatre exists to entertain. But of course "entertainment" comes in the form of many guises - inspire, laugh yourself silly, move, discover or share.

I saw and still continue to see a future for this play in schools. Your young performers have grown up in a country involved in two wars. Their remembrances of 9/11 might be slight but their knowledge of a post-9/11- world are very real. And the recent death of Osama Bin Laden is now part of their historical make-up.
They can relate to the topic. They can relate to the characters - who are teens. Grappling with a reality that was forced upon them.

By Candlelight is easy to produce. It's episodic, uses a few levels and modern costumes. It would pack a whallop at the state one-act competition. All roles are meaty and give young performers a chance to delve into their own gifts and talents.

I had a heady time with this play. I worked with dedicated, thoughtful and insightful people who helped make this story come alive with tenderness and care. I watched the young actors in the productions respond with their hearts. I read the letters from them telling me how their time spent in Candlelight altered their lives.

My hopes for the play don't dim. The ten-year anniversary of the attacks is approaching and this play may yet find its way into schools as a way to continue to understand the impact of that day on young people. Schools and theatres might still want to revisit the time in a way that sheds light and compassion in the wake of sadness. The fact is young people will forever carry that day with them.

Read an excerpt here and decide for yourself: By Candlelight excerpt.

When life intervenes with your play

2011-08-02T12:05:00.000-07:00

"Oh really! Soldiers disgust you? They disgust you? Well, here's a thought - you disgust me"

This scene happens early on in Under a Midsummer Moon. David has shut himself down after the death of his brother in Vietnam two weeks ago. His journey out of anger and back to his brother is the crux of the play.

Growing up in the Vietnam era, I knew many men who served. I was fortunate that all I knew returned home. And they didn't return home to accolades. A shame of our generation.

"Come away O human child, to the waters and the wild. With a faery hand in hand, for the world's more full of weeping than you can understand." - Yeats

Madrigal - who hails from Belfast - where her father is one of the first casualties in "the troubles," invokes the faeries to create a magical day - on the day a man will land on the moon. She creates a "Moon Scavenger Hunt" for the disaffected youth in the park.

And Madrigal tells David of the Giant's Causeway - "A great, craggy miracles of a place" where giants once walked and faeries could be summoned. A place of eternity.

Madrigal creates a moon tree out of a dead branch and brings the young people in the park together. The Moon Tree is where David (Cast 1) will finally rest his brother's Eagle Scout handkerchief.

"I was counting the days before your discharge. You were so close ... and I don't know how to get through the days - except by switching myself off. And I don't think I can switch my life back on - because the switch - it's crumbled and I can't gather the pieces up..."

David (Cast 2) tells Madrigal: "Everyone's so busy feeling their own "stuff," they don't always stop and remember that the person next to them can be in a remembrance of their own."

And after the moon landing, the disenchanted kids in the park who mocked Madrigal, leave her gifts by the Moon Tree.

And David gives Madrigal his brother's dog tags - to be buried in the Giant's Causeway - the place of eternity. On July 6th, an extraordinary young man took his life on the Marine Base in California. He had served (and was continuing to serve) multiple tours in both Afghanistan and Iraq. . He was my son's friend and classmate and his younger sister is my daughter's friend. He is "twenty-four forever."

Sgt. Ian McConnell had an easy smile and a compassionate heart. He joined the Marines directly out of high school and proudly served his country. I see him returning to an all-school mass in his dress uniform. He was proud to serve his country and rightly so. On the day before tech/dress rehearsal week, my family went to his wake. The outside of the funeral home was surrounded by the Patriot Guard - a very moving sight. The inside held many Marines. And saddened hearts.

In the play, I wrote about David trying to find his way to grieving - the first step in healing. On Saturday, my two kids came to the show. After when we spoke about it - it was suddenly about Ian. About loss. And respect due. And post-traumatic stress disorder which can be as deadly as war. His sister is arranging a series of talks on the subject as she works through her own grief.

I am belatedly grateful to the two casts who worked on a delicate subject with care and respect. And note that with all the things theatre can do for you, it can also be a tool for healing.

Brand new playwrighting opportunity

2011-04-01T15:27:00.000-07:00

As an "emerging playwright," I am lucky to have opportunities sometimes just land in my inbox. I am always feel the kindness of theatres when these opportunities come my way so I am paying it forward in case you have a suitable play.

The Tolo de Abril Theatre Company announces an open call for submissions. please read the submission requirements carefully.

Plays must be submitted on April 31, 2011. No plays will be accepted before or after that date.

Plays must be unproduced, unperformed, and actually unwritten. Any play that has even been thought about is ineligible for this festival.

Plays must be exactly 121.237 minutes long in performance. For the purposes of this festival, one page is equal to 1.7143 minutes.

No email submissions will be accepted. No regular mail submissions will be accepted. Please print 27 copies of your play on vellum and deliver by horseback to the theater.

There is a $15 submission fee per page. Add $10 if you would like feedback. Add $20 if you would not like feedback.

All plays must be in the One True Holy Play Format. But we're not going to tell you what we think that is.

Plays must be on the theme of "Data Mining In The 21st Century", and must include mention of: a banana, Sweden, Don Knotts and a pair of worn flipflops. Other than that you have complete creative license.

The winners of the festival must pay an additional $500 for programs, lights, costumes, and beer for all of us.

Any play appearing in this festival can not be performed again in this solar system for the next 3.5 billion years.

Please include with your submission a synopsis, character breakdown, nervous breakdown, the reason you think we should do your play, a paragraph on why you think you're so great, an artistic statement, a photocopy of your artistic license, a brief bio, a brief bio of James K. Polk, and a small woodland creature, all in the same envelope.

We do not accept ten minute plays, collections of ten minute plays, musicals, plays for children, plays for adults, or plays for old people.

See our website for complete details.

The opportunity came from playwright Mark Harvey Levine who always has plays - at any given time - playing on five continents. Check out his website and you'll see why.

To Max Smart from a lazy, whiny, defeatist, non-committed playwright

2011-03-31T18:55:00.000-07:00

-our general laziness,

-inability to commit,

-defeatist attitude,

-lack of talent,

-and unwillingness to truly listen and change —are the real reasons we—the “emerging” playwright—fail.

`I think it has to do with listening—to each other, to our collaborators, to our audience and primarily, to our hearts and guts. We “emerging” playwrights need to kick each other’s asses more, challenge each other more, invest in one another more, and be more honest with one another. I expect this rant will piss some of my peers off, but it comes from the place of hoping we can lift each other up. We can do our part to fix the system. Can we shed the “emerging” label? Can we figure out how to arrive?

`From The Real Reasons Playwrights Fail by Matt Smart. If this rant indeed has anything to do with "lifting each other up." It is sort of like the compliment, "That color looks good on you. It hides your weight."

`Laziness: Well, yes - I have stared at the computer for hours, written crap, deleted it and gone shopping. I had permission from playwright Laurie Brooks. Really. At the Bonderman Symposium, Ms. Brooks was part of a roundtable discussion held for an audience of "emerging playwrights." She described a conversation with her screenwriter brother in which she lamented the lack of output happening in her world that day and her brother told her to go shopping.

` "Really, I can do that?"

`"Yes, Laurie," replied her brother. "You can do that."

`And then she gave us permission to also do that.

`There was this splendid day - last October - which - for no reason at all - I spent at the apple orchard. Considering that I have been looking at snow banks since November 12th and it is now March 31st and snow is expected tonight and tomorrow, I prefer to think of it as a mental health day. But maybe I was being lazy. I should have been writing instead of cavorting in orchards. Because you have never heard of me, right?

`Inability to commit: I've only been writing plays for twenty-odd years so maybe I haven't fully committed yet. I have commissions, awards, publications - the things that you would expect from an uncommitted playwright. I get obsessive when in the throes of a play (won't answer phone, not make dinner for family and incessantly take to myself - even in public - as I fashion dialogue). Committed? Maybe commitment is in the eye of the beholder. I haven't emerged so I haven't committed.

`Defeatist attitude: I belong to a listserv known as the playwrightbinge started by Patrick Gabridge and its counterpart, the playwrightpurge started by Mark Harvey Levine. Twice a year the "binge" commits to marketing their plays for one solid year and sharing opportunities with others. Later they will report on their successes and failures. During the "purge," a commitment is made twice a year - also for a month - to write every day and report on it. The playwrights on these lists - and there are hundreds, report pretty faithfully - amid other work (sometimes theatre-related, sometimes not). Amid caring for older family members as well as for brand new ones. Amid sorrows, in airports, in blizzards, during holidays, through sicknesses. I am most happy when they also tell me what they picked from their gardens and what they are making for dinner - but that's me.

`The breadth and scope of the work from these playwrights on the listserv as they navigate a life plus a life in the theatre always inspires me. When I get over my defeatist attitude that playwrights have, I hope to be just like them. Emerging.

`Lack of talent: Some of my plays are better than others - but guess what? I never wrote an AT RISE on Page 1 hoping to write a mediocre play. I learned more over time. Each time I leave my comfort zone, I hope to hit the nail squarely on the head - but sometimes it takes a few tries. Or a few plays. I'd like to say that my resume speaks of some talent. But again, talent is also in the eye of the beholder.

`Unwillingness to truly listen and change: I'm not above screaming "help" to fellow directors and playwrights. That said, oh yes, I do listen with a nod to protecting my play. I can state firmly and unequivocally that directors, dramaturgs and my young performers have been hugely instrumental in improving my plays. Theatre is collaborative. I can also state that the director who wanted to take away the Yeats quotes from one of my ten-minute plays missed the entire point of the play. And I withdrew the play from his festival. And never looked back. It was my own personal playwright's nightmare. Uh oh - am I unwilling to listen and change? I'll never emerge at this rate.

`Isaac Butler wrote a thoughtful and intriguing response to Smart's blog Identifying with Elites.

`Any system that requires you to work seventeen hours a day all year long on the basis of "love" is a system that doesn't work.

`Whereas Smart offers backhanded advice as to how to circumvent the system of getting produced in American theatre, Butler assesses the system.

`Kari Bentley-Quinn rebuttals Smart's accusations from the prospective of a female playwright. Read it here. She duly notes that sometimes a good play doens't get produced and mediocre ones do. It happens.

`Smart also discusses the plight of the "emerging playwright." Can someone take that phrase away? What does that mean? Am I still emerging because I am not a household name? As someone who writes primarily for youth theatre and more importantly - for young performers, it is possible that my genre will never include a playwright that has emerged. Am I in the lower depths somewhere murky and muddy - waiting to emerge? I suddenly feel as if I dwell in a swamp.

`Maybe the system is broken. Maybe the playwright/theatre connection left the world with Shakespeare. So maybe it is time to think differently. To have emerged does not have to mean, "Broadway/Pulitzer Prize." It could mean the number of people in the audiences who were affected by your play - by something you wrote. Maybe when your work has been felt by people in varying places from cities to seashore, to small towns in the USA - you might be able to tell your heart, soul and your muse that you indeed have emerged.

`And although lazy, uncommitted, defeatist, unwilling to change and whiny - gosh - I am indeed a playwright. And I'm not in the swamp.

A Trio of Publications for 2011

2011-02-01T14:54:00.000-08:00

2011 has brought a trio of publications. These particular plays brought me great happiness while writing them and later more sweetnesses in their productions. The inter-active The Fisherman and His Wife was published by Playscripts yesterday. An excerpt is here.

With a cast of 3 and virtually no set, it is ideal for touring. It was the winner for the Prince George's Children's Theatre of Prince County Contest (2010) as well as the winner for the Anna Zornio Memorial Playwriting Contest (2008-2009). The photographs are from the University of New Hampshire's Little Red Wagon Tour.

YouthPLAYS published In the Village of the Brothers Grimm during the holiday season. An excerpt is here. Photos are by Joan Elwell, Lakeshore Players.

A gangster-fairy, an unlikely hero, a rhyming witch and a crying princess are some of the characters unleashed in this fast-paced play. Comedy, heroics, witches, magic, goodness, love, loss and healing are explored using eight stories of the Brothers Grimm. Meet with villagers wise and silly ("The Golden Goose"), industrious ("Clever Alice"), lazy ("The Shreds") and in love ("Joringel and Jorinda), and discover the richness of those who reside in the village of the Brothers Grimm.

And most happily, YouthPLAYS will soon be publishing The Hanging of the Greens. A friend related to me a folktale from his childhood. It stayed with me many years until finally I could fashion it into a play-perfect for the holiday season. Photos are by Joan Elwell, Lakeshore Players.

Pinella, is basically an obsessive-compulsive witch. If you hang the greens before the solstice, "Pinella-the-wtich" cannot enter your home for she is compelled to count every pine needle in every branch. However, if you are shiftless and do not hang the greens, she will sneak into unsuspecting homes and snatch children and make them her slaves! Really, it's family fun!

The stars were aligned when I worked on this production. The cast came together as a family and have stayed close two yars later. I blogged about that extraordinary experience here.

As a playwright I hope these plays find many new homes and bring grand experiences to all involved. And now - I should be writing - because I only have one more play left...

Submission Guidelines Yields 2011 Resolution

2010-12-30T12:31:00.000-08:00

I spent the morning submitting plays. Sounds ideal - you can do most of the submissions in your pajamas and make a trip to the post office once a month. Each e-mail submission took about 30 minutes.
`
Theatre A wants .pdf files including resume, biography and no contact information anywhere but on a certain sheet. Or on a submission form. Or only on the title page. Or wants your name on every page. On the top. No, on the bottom right. Theatre B wants 3 copies stapled - not bound. Theatre C wants four copies bound - not stapled. Theatre D wants a long synopsis at the beginning of the script. Theatre E wants a short synopsis on the character page. Theatre F wants two files - one is the title page with contact info and bio and one is the play without contact info.
`
Having been a reader for three festivals, I understand the need to help the readers and the theatre. And abide by all guidelines with as much cheer as I can muster. And when I cannot muster cheer, I shall not send.
`
I shall not submit when they shout at me or have a two-page listing of what they don't want. The "don't wants" can be extensive. And negative.
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Guidelines from Unidentified Theatre for a Reading with Script in Hand and No Pay

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: Please read carefully
Categories for submission
Full Length (75-120 minutes)
One Act (30-60 minutes)
Ten Minute (10 minutes or less)
Please note Category on Title page
One Play per Playwright
Script must be in Standard Play Format (see below for details)
Script must be bound securely in non-permanent binding system--brads, 3 ring binder, presentation folder, or other. No spiral-bound or stapled.
Your name and contact information (phone, address, email) should appear on the Title page but not within the body of the manuscript. Title page will be removed to ensure an objective reading. `
Page number and Play Title should be included in the header area of each page following the Title page so if a play becomes unbound it can be easily re-assembled.
Scripts will be accepted in any professional format, such as that described in Dramatists Sourcebook or as described below:
Top, bottom, left, and right, margins set at 1–1.5 inches.
Page numbers appear within the header area of each page.
Character names indented 4 inches.
Opening stage directions indented at least 1.5 inches.
Other stage directions indented 3.5 inches.
Text is best set at 12 point in one of the following fonts: Palatino, Times New Roman, Courier New, or Arial.
Please avoid the use of italics and excessive stage directions.
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The following are not considered acceptable:
Screenplays or teleplays submitted as theatrical play
Obvious first drafts
Plays with typos and spelling error
Plays not formatted according to industry standards (see above)
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All manuscripts not selected will be recycled. Do not include return postage.
Note: The festival is a script in hand staged reading with minimal props and set pieces, with a different program for each of the three days. Past festivals have featured 2-3 full length plays, 2-3 one acts and 9-10 ten minute plays. Good luck!
Mail 3 copies of your script postmarked by ...
Notification: We appreciate the opportunity to consider your work. Our Festival Coordinator screens submissions for eligibility as they are received and at that time acknowledges receipt of submission by email only.
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Only playwrights whose works are selected for presentation will be notified of selection. Plays selected for presentation will also be listed on our website. If you have not received notification of selection, see the website.
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Script-in-hand-staged reading, mail 3 copies (not stapled in removable binder or brackets and I consider 3 mailed copies a hidden fee) with notification only if you get in.
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I breathed a great sigh of relief when I realized I was not hurting my career if I chose not to send. So - I chose not to send. On the other hand, the guidelines to Madlab Theatre's Roulette contest are below. I send every year - I never get in - but I send. Because their guidelines welcome me.

Madlab Theatre 's Submission Guidelines
Scripts should be between 5-45 minutes in length. Scripts of greater lengths will be considered, but due to time constraints, it is unlikely that unsolicited full-length plays will be selected for the festival, unless you are a Nobel or Pulitzer winning writer, in which case, your script will automatically be accepted for production as long as you waive your standard royalty, which would probably be more than the budget for the entire festival. If you are not sure whether or not you have won a Nobel or Pulitzer Prize, please find out through the glory of the world wide web and let us know.
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You may submit multiple scripts.
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Script submissions WILL NOT be returned to the applicant; MadLab will destroy all evidence of your creative instincts upon a funeral pyre at an undisclosed location in order to protect both the innocent and the guilty. Ashes will NOT be returned to you unless you purchase a commemorative urn from MadLab at the bargain basement price of $999.95.
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Due to our environmentally conscious president, you must email your script to us. If emailing is absolutely impossible for you, please call us at xxx-xxx-xxxx so we can make alternate arrangements.
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Please send your script attached as a Microsoft Word (2000 or older) document or PDF format. Scripts should be emailed to ... Please put “THEATRE ROULETTE SUBMISSION” in the subject line. If “THEATRE ROULETTE SUBMISSION” is not in your subject line, your submission may not be received. All submissions will receive a reply email to ensure that your submission was received.
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For ROULETTE, MadLab pays $50 to each playwright or 10% of our box office receipts - whichever is more. The 10% is split among the 9-11 plays that get selected.
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If you’ve made it through all of this, congratulations. At least you’ve got the potential patience to deal with the travails of theatrical production. If you have any questions, please email them to Managing Director ...
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Thanks for your interest. Good luck with your submission, and regardless of the outcome here, be sure to keep writing and producing new works.
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I wasn't accepted this year. How do I know? They e-mailed me and let me know. There's respect in their process and that's worth a lot.
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So, in 2011 - I will again submit. And will continue to submit to theatres where:
a. the play meets all guidelines so I am respecting the needs of the theatre
b. they respect the playwright.

The Wendy Wasserstein Prize Controversy

2010-11-16T14:53:00.001-08:00

I came to playwrighting in a circuitous fashion. I wish I had been more direct, but I was almost 40 when I wrote my first play. My first play emerged after 20 plus years in theatre. All of this is to say, I am not nor would I have ever been eligible for the Wendy Wasserstein prize.
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On Friday, November 12, it was announced that Wendy Wasserstein Prize would not be awarded in 2010 because they had not found a recipient deemed worthy.
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The guidelines state that you must be an emerging female playwright under the age of 32 with no major productions - certainly not on Broadway or in any major regional theatre. The purpose of the prize on the Theatre Development Fund website is as follows:
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"The Wasserstein Prize is given to encourage the work of a young, woman playwright by the Educational Foundation of America (EFA) in honor of the late Pulitzer and Tony Award- winning playwright, Wendy Wasserstein.
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Established in 2006 by the Educational Foundation of America and the Dramatists Guild of America in memory of their friend and board member, Wendy Wasserstein, a strong advocate for emerging women writers, the Wasserstein Prize is intended for a writer to whom $25,000 will make a substantial difference in her professional life. It is hoped that the prize, which was first awarded in 2007, will ease financial pressures on the recipient and provide her with national exposure and encouragement."
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The nominations for the prize is a tricky business. Also from the TDF website:
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"Playwrights were nominated for the prize by leading theatrical practitioners who were particularly knowledgeable about new plays and emerging playwrights."
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It is one of those elusive prizes where you do not apply. You are chosen by one of the leading theatre practitioners and asked to submit a play. Nineteen plays were solicited. In the end, none were deemed worthy.
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Many questions arose. Are the guidelines to stringent? Why were plays solicited from only 19 playwrights? Can it be possible that there is not one female playwright under the age of 32 worthy of the prize? An uproar ensued. If the purpose of the prize is to encourage young, female playwrights, the decision to not award the prize in 2010 sends a message to all young female playwrights in the USA that contradicts the purpose and spirit of the award.
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Wendy Wasserstein was well-known for her generosity of spirit. She encouraged and mentored young playwrights. She started Outreach programs to bring students into the theatre. The prize in her name was intended to reflect that generosity.
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A petition to reinstate the prize was passed around Facebook garnering over 800 signatures very quickly. Playwright, Michael Yew blogged about the lack of the prize. He noted that this prize was not 100 percent based on accomplishment (as the Pulitzer Prize is) but was established to advocate the voice of the female playwright - which they are ironically silencing for a year. Read his eloquent blog on this issue and his letter to TDF'S Executive Director, Vitoria Bailey here.
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Once in a blue moon, uproars and letters do work. On Monday, November 15, it was announced that "the selection process would be refined in hopes of dining a winner." Read the article about "possibly" reinstating the prize here.
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NY Times did an interview with TDF's Executive Director Victoria Bailey which reveals that the prize funding was only guaranteed for four years and indeed there may not be any more prizes. Read the Q&A here.
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Playwright Callie Kimball also blogged the lack of the prize. She writes of how a recognition of talent can change your life. Read it here.
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And playwright Kathleen Warnock blogs about why she and others should care about the initial decision to not award the prize. Find it here.
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What does this have to with Kids and Theatre? Prizes like Wendy Wasserstein Prize encourage. They cultivate a halo of creative possibilities. They celebrate the generosity of shared gifts and Ms. Wasserstein was someone who shared many gifts. In late 2005, I wrote her asking if she would offer advice as a working playwright for a book I was writing on career choices for middle school students. She wrote back a short and delightful letter.
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Young writers should "Trust your instincts always."
What education/training do you need to be a playwright? "Passion."
What is your work day like? "Writing, laughing, writing."
What is the best thing about your work? "People."
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Writing, laughing, passion, people, trust." Young people could relate to that.

When youth theatre crawls into its armadillo shell

2010-11-09T08:49:00.001-08:00

I've noticed an armadillo shell that hovers over youth theatre. Especially in schools - a shell large enough to to enclose school principals, concerned members of the community and parents. And I am not positive it is serving young actors or allowing them to explore the power and wonders of theatre.
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There's a brief discussion over at American Alliance for Theatre Education regarding censorship. One of the most beautiful plays ever written for the Theatre for Young Audience markets, The Yellow Boat by David Saar receives little to no productions in the schools and indeed professional theatres have stayed away. Subject matter perceived: AIDS and dying. Play content: a celebration of life and family, exploring the journey of a young artist's life. A production of this tender play opens up discussion of love, life, beauty and creating strength in the face of tragedy. But someone dies. As in "real" life. But we protect our young audiences from "real life" at all costs. But what cost?
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When I write for teens -my hands are tied. If I wrote the way teens speak today, it would never be produced. In a recent commission that would focus on the life of a teen, certain subjects were verboten: suicide, cutting, anorexia, drugs, sex, alcohol, bullying, discovering you're gay. Because we don't want to expose young teens who are not ready. And as much as it is fun to watch reruns of Happy Days, sometimes I wonder if writing a steady diet of theatrical Happy Days serves my young performers.
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When devising In the Village of the Brothers Grimm, I thought I was on safe ground. And I suppose I was - except for the one parent that wanted to read the script ahead of time to see if there was: disrespect of parents and other authority figures, sarcasm, violence and evil. As it was a compilation of Grimm's fairy tales, I had to assure her the script did indeed contain all those things. On a bright note, I could state that the language was "G" rated.
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A high school has cancelled their November 12th production of To Kill a Mockingbird because of the use of "N" word. The book is required reading for the 9th grade but they cannot produce the play. The tale is here:
http://www.playbill.com/news/article/144699-Florida-High-School-Cancels-To-Kill-a-Mockingbird-Production
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As we protect our children from our past we leave them with few tools to move forward. In a worst-case scenario, we are equipping our children to repeat the past.

Alice Dancing Under the Gallows

2010-11-04T13:46:00.000-07:00

Alice Dancing Under the Gallows - the above is a trailer from a documentary of the oldest living survivor of the Holocaust. Alice Herz-Sommer turns 107 in November 2010. The documentary is a tribute to her optimism, love and ability to use music to not just cope but survive.

"They took our belongings, food and clothing, but music is the one thing that they could not take away from us, music, that evil could not destroy."- Alice Herz-Sommer.

It's a testament in a sense to the power of the arts and the strength it can give even in the face of evil. Music had the power to take prisoners out of their camps and into another world. It was more than an escape - it was survival.

I would argue that music (and all the arts) is an expression of our common humanity - and not a "frill" in a child's education. Many survivors of Theresienstadt credit music with the ability experience beauty even in the midst of evil.

Herz-Sommer's book A Garden of Eden in Hell can be found here. More information on her can be found here.

Passion

2010-10-28T18:17:00.000-07:00

I turn down work. In my field that is. I have applications in to Macys, Target and Barnes and Noble for seasonal work - "award-winning" playwrights with hosts of published plays need weekly paychecks, too. I am not allergic to working for a steady paycheck but when it comes to theatre - I need a spark. I need to at least think I can light a fire under students and ignite - creativity, exchange of ideas, discoveries - something. So I turn down work - if I don't feel a passion for the project.

If I agree to a commission for a play - I need to know from the start that I can deliver (and the truth is, I'm always insecure, always terrified - always afraid I cannot) so that passion needs to be there to carry you through when the muse does not. Good old-fashioned, "do your homework and be prepared" is of course the core. But passion excites.

I am helping a theatre write a grant - to bring me - as a playwright - into two middle schools. I am knee deep in 57 pages of Minnesota Standards for Language Arts in the middle school. I am citing that 20 hours of playwrighting classes meets Minnesota standards: 6.3.3.1; 6.3.3.2; 6.3.3.4; 6.5.5.1; 7.10.10.11 - in fact I have three paragraphs of these numbers and notes to cite where in my curriclum these standards are addressed and met. Not exactly the stuff that constitutes passion.

But imagine - bringing it to fruition. Igniting a spark of writing or acting or theatre-going because of 20 hours in the classroom. Helping students find their inner resources. Discovering that as a 12 year-old - writing descriptive phrases of the sun setting is not in your inner core - but dialogue is. Imagine a community of learners discovering that theatre is inclusive, is communal and has places for diverse talents and energies. Imagine the possibilities. And that's something to be passionate about.

A prompt for a play

2010-10-26T10:53:00.000-07:00

There is a Youtube which try as I might I cannot embed. It is from the National Poetry Slam and I Katie Makkai doing her poem "Pretty." Find it here: (it's worth 3 minutes of your time)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7TS2Z6lAI4

This was posted by a friend on Facebook (Facebook can come in handy) and gave me shivers and sent me thinking. I watched it over and over again thinking "this is a play." I sent it to colleagues for Lakeshore Players Summer Youth Project - and all agreed - it could be a mighty fine play. And am now crafting a story (for I don't want disconnected scene/themes on the pressures of "pretty") but a story - with a ticking clock - including notions of worth of "pretty." As well as the male counterpart - and for teens it seems to be some sort of "toughness" glorified in high school sports.... this is rambling. This is just a beginning.

Cyberbullying

2010-10-05T08:25:00.000-07:00

Two years ago, I wrote Scheme Space. After listening to horror stories from teens, I wrote what I thought was a gentler version of the invasion of privacy that is rampant in cybersphere. These days, I am wishing I was more brutal. Because it can be brutal out there. Scheme Space was published by Youth Plays - a fact that pleases me. I know the work and the sensibilities of the editors. I am in agreement with their respect for teens.
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Scheme Space Synopsis
The lives of seven teens collide when an inappropriate photo is put online. Soon, what starts out as a prank spirals out of control. Will this ill-conceived bid for popularity end up destroying friendships and even lives? Find a perusal copy here.
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But schools will not always do brutal. And so you tone it down. When I wrote Betwixt and Betweened for a local middle school, a few teachers implored me to include sex, drugs, bulimia, cutting and then word came down - that we did not want to introduce those "notions" to impressionable middle school stduents. There is an irony about not wanting to introduce middle school students to subjects they are all too aware of but do not have the coping skills to deal with properly. And the world turns. A gentler excerpt is here.
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I can only hope that even with the "gentler" versions of bullying in cybersphere and the life of the teen, conversations are started. Between students, between teachers and students and ultimately in families. Conversations are a start.

The Fisherman and His Wife

2010-09-24T17:02:00.001-07:00

The Fisherman and His Wife will be published by Playscripts in the coming months. The play was my first deliberate effort into Theatre for Young Audiences and my second interactive play. It won the Anna Zornio Memorial Children's Theatre Playwrighting Award in 2008/09. The award is administered by the University of New Hampshire and the winning play tours New England through their Little Red Wagon Tour. The photos are from that production.

The play is an adaptation of the Grimm's tale of a fisherman and his wife who live by the sea. In poverty. Until the fisherman does a "catch and release" thing with an enchanted fish. And their fotunes change. I love the look of the production. Filled with color and humor. The fisherman's boat is perfect! He couldn't afford a bigger boat!

The original cast (who played different roles at different performances) were: Cat Claus, Sara Divney, Allison Rellihan, Ethan Selby and Sean Driscoll. It was directed by Jerard James Craven.

The fisherman - is a simple doofus. Content. At peace. The fish (Scat) is a jazzy-fast talking fish with a history of his/her own.

And the wife - poor Maura - just wanted things. She couldn't help it - she yearned for more. We all do ... sometimes.

The play toured and played inside and outside.
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In the summer 2010, The Fisherman and His Wife was produced by Prince George's Children's Theatre as part of Maryland's Prince George's County Arts and Cultural Heritage Division. It was direct by Mandy Dalton and the cast was as follows: Quincy Vicks, Madison Sellers, Marcus Briddel with an ensemble (of fish!): Dalphanie Talbert, Sean Brown and Akeira Cramer.

I am grateful to the Red Wagon Tour and Prince George's Children's Theatre for enthusiastically producing The Fisherman and His Wife. It's been a playwright's dream come true. Until Playscripts publishes the piece, you may read an excerpt here. (Then I shall you there.)

I want to continue playing with interactive theatre. I love the idea of directly reaching and touching a young audience member. The immediacy of theatre is brought home.

Theatre for Young Performers Revisited

2010-08-31T18:52:00.000-07:00

Consider the world of writing for young performers. The subject matter has no limits. You can tackle a young girl dealing with polio...

Teens grappling with leukemia.... only no one wants to talk about it.

Coping and healing after 9/11.

The rich history of folk tales from Jewish lore...

And dependable - but surprisingly dark and shadowy - Brothers Grimm

Children alone. Children coping.

After writing about the differences between young audiences and young performers, I was pleased to see the subject tackled on playwright and Theatrefolk publisher Lindsay Price's Theatrefolk blog. She wrote succinctly about the difference in writing for adults to play to young audiences versus writing for young performers. A short excerpt:

"Some might say – well what IS the difference? They’re exactly the same! Audience, performer, who cares? The difference is between a professional playing young, and a teenager being in a play. And like it or not, there are some emotions, some life experiences, that just aren’t appropriate for the 16 year old actor. There’s a difference between watching that emotion, that life experience, and being told to act it."

Read the entire Theatrefolk blog here.

There it is in a nutshell. It's not vocabulary you need to consider - nor is it subject matter. It's the world of the young performer. Their life experience. Their ability to translate where they are in the world to where their character is.

There's a wealth of information on Theatrefolk regarding plays for young performers. Whether you write, direct or teach young performers, consider subscribing. The differences between Theatre for Young Audiences and Theatre for Young Performers is something I would like to visit again and again. Just as picture books and midddle-school books have garnered respect in the last twenty years, it would be most gratifying to see the genre of Theatre for Young Performers come into its own.

Theatre for Young Performers (TYP) is its own genre

2010-08-02T14:57:00.001-07:00

When you are busy doing Theatre with Young Performers (TYP - my genre), there is little time to write about it. Young performers keep you busy.

Theatre for Young Performers is a genre that has not been given its due. There are a handful of contests aimed at producing good plays using young actors. There are indeed a few publishers who specialize in publishing the genre. But there is no development of these plays, no conferences and no symposium.

As I finished my work with In the Village of the Brothers Grimm, the lack of process for this genre saddens me. I can truly state I had a remarkable summer. Working with two casts of 21, there was constant support among the cast and my colleagues, joy in the work, silliness, stick-to-it-ive-ness, questions, changes, mishaps and accomplishment. To state that I "had the time of my life with the two casts," does not do the summer justice.

I watched each cast member rise to the occassion. They tested me, they tested themselves and they came through. Why is it that there is nothing in place to develop plays for this group? I edit before, during and after the production. Often, the play that emerges is at its best after the production is over.

I want them to have the best now. Before the production. Before first reading. This year, there was a simpicity to the structure. It was again edited after closing performance but not hugely changed. Luck of the draw or I have certainly grown in my genre.

I wrote an article about Theatre for Young Performers and how the opoprtunities differ and can be demeaned. Read it here and let me know what you think. Without being overdramatic, I think the future of theatre depends on these young performers. Without being overly sentimental, working with the cast was a labor of love. Actually more love than labor. And I want to put in their hands, my best possible work.

The Fleeting Moments and Serendipity of Angel Kisses

2010-06-06T09:20:00.001-07:00

In the summer of 2009, I wrote one ten-minute play - just one for the year. Angel Kisses in Left Field. It was offered an early production.... if I changed most of the play (blogged about it here) and declined. Fall 2009 and Winter 2010 were heartbreakers. I stopped writing. I had one more directing job to fulfill. I would come to work in the eves after seeing or speaking with my Dad who was undergoing chemo. And getting sicker from the poisons. One puts a smile on one's face when one works with scores of kids. And sometimes the act of smiling stops the tears.
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A few days before my father died, I received welcome news that The Fisherman and his Wife won a children's playwriting contest and would be touring a park in Baltimore, MD. It would be the last good news I could share with my father. Who was one of my biggest fans. The man who stated I would be a writer. When I knew I would be an actress.

Photos of Angel Kisses in Left Field from Play N Well Players
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The night before my father died, I received an e-mail from a theatre I had never heard of - Play N Well Players in Michigan. They had read Angel Kisses in Left Field at another theatre and wanted to produce it. My first thought was to call my Dad. But the ability to do that was past. He would leave the world a few hours later. I gave Play N Well Players the rights to produce the show and forgot about it.
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Northfield Arts Guild produced it in late April. A friend of mine directed it and I was unable to go. It was the day of my father's Memorial. Somehow Angel Kisses and my father intersected regularly.

May came. Bertolli Foods sent me on a culinary tour of Los Angeles. Welcome news of publications and productions came (along with the required rejections). Minnesota had an early spring. Warmth and color filled the state. It was as if the world conspired to fill up the emptiness.

And there was one more e-mail from Play N Well Players. "Congratulations, your play won "best of the Festival." When I didn't even know there was to be a "best of the festival." Serendipity. From a theatre I never submitted to and a play that contained angel kisses. Fleeting angel kisses. Remembrances of parental angel kisses.

Cast Away in Shakespeare's Garden Published

2010-06-01T11:51:00.001-07:00

In 2004, I wrote a play titled Cast Away in Time. Most of the original cast is in college now or graduating high school. The sweetness of memories. In 2005. the play was selected to be a semi-finalist at the Bonderman Symposium. A huge deal for me.

The play originally had three settings: all gardens or parks. It began with three kids from modern time thrust into Shakespeare's Garden by virtue of an errant computer named Harold and a comet. It could happen. As the castaways tried to find their way home, they were thrust from Shakespeare's Garden into Renoir's Garden (getting closer to their own time) and eventually into 1960's in Central Park, New York City. Where they came across their mother. Lots of stories, lots of gardens, too many of subplots.

After the Bonderman Symposium, the play was developed using only Shakespeare's Garden. I entered it into the Unpublished Play Reading Project where I received one "thumbs up" that it was ready for publication and "one thumbs down" that it was not. (My history with Unpublished Play Project always has one thumb up and one thumb down). But there was some advice - about differentiating the dialogue between the modern kids and the Shakespeare era kids. Good advice indeed.

Cast Away in Shakespeare's Garden was sent to the National Jackie White Memorial Children's Play Writing Contest. It took 2nd place. I was happy. And after sitting on publishers desks for two years, an offer came from Brooklyn Publishers. Happier still. The offer came just one week after I went to see a former student direct the newly edited show. I blogged about that sweet experience here. I have a lot of years into this play. A lot of development and a lot of sweat equity. I am hoping it finds its place in many schools, interests students in Shakespeare's time and presents a joyful experience for all who later do this play.

Sweet circle from actress to director

2010-05-02T15:34:00.000-07:00

Six years ago, a ten-year-old girl walked into the Lakeshore Players Summer Youth Project. Young and filled with charm and charisma, I soon discovered she also had a strong work-ethic, a blossoming talent and a generosity of spirit.
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She had a small part in Cast Away in Time which evolved into Cast Away in Shakespeare's Garden. The play was a semi-finalist in the Bonderman Symposium and later took 2nd place in the Jackie White Memorial Play Writing Contest. At the Bonderman, I was mentored by David Saar from Childsplay theatre in Tempe, AZ who advised me to drop the last 2/3 of the play and focus on Shakespeare's Garden. I had already felt that in my bones. I loved the play and rewrote and edited and rewrote. In time, it was very different from the play my young actress was in - in fact her role had combined with another and no longer existed!

Fast-forward six years, and I have worked with this young performer again and again - in truth - I have happily worked with most of her family. Their abilities enhanced my plays. And then I received an e-mail stating, "I would like to direct one of your plays for my Baccalaureate Project in high school. I have no budget - just a dream."
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It took me a nano-second to grant her the rights to any of my unpublished plays. And she chose the very first play she was ever in - knowing I had cut her role and ruthlessly edited it and so it came to pass that she would direct the new Cast Away in Shakespeare's Garden. It would be my first production since my manic editing.
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She scrambled as directors do. She was responsible for all production values - sets, costumes and props. Scheduling, teaching others how to work together and oh yes - she had to direct also! She fretted. Worried about the young teens talking through rehearsals and not listening.
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"That's normal," I replied. "They don't listen to me either."
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And she doggedly continued the process - marching to opening night. There's a time during a production when you are so ensconced in the rehearsal process, opening night is a faraway star. You know it's there, but it's light-years away. You stop thinking about it and stay in the moment. Until, it looms. Until there's a tech rehearsal and then a dress rehearsal. And suddenly the unreality of an opening becomes blazingly real. The world you created in a cocoon will be going out into the world. Ready or nor, there it goes. Adult directors become frazzled. Sleep is not always granted. You jot odd things down when not in rehearsal because you know you'll never remember it all when you get to the theatre.
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On Friday, April 23rd, Cast Away in Shakespeare's Garden opened at a local school. Lovingly directed, with an eye towards creating pictures on a very fine set, building relationships between the characters, creating moments and still taking care that sound cues are done and the props don't disappear - it opened. And was all there. And all that. And lovely. I couldn't ask for a better beginning.
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Opening night was April 23rd - Shakespeare's birthday and he was gleefully celebrated with a peek at how modern teens might react if they encountered his family in Elizabethan times. I think he would approve. And there's one more thing about April 23rd that's very important. It's all nice and good to open a play about Shakespeare on Shakespeare's birthday. But what is truly splendid: opening night was also the 16th birthday of an extraordinary young woman - someone I have had the privilege to see grow in the very tender years between ages 10 and 16 - yes, it was the director's day. My former student. The reason I go to work. The reason I love youth theatre. Happy birthday, Bree!

In the Village with the Brothers Grimm... done... for now ... we'll see

2010-04-20T17:55:00.000-07:00

I wrote "end of play" for In the Village with the Brothers Grimm. Let the second guessing begin. I did not write what I set out to write - tales of growing up. I picked tales that I thought student performers would do successfully, enjoy and I hope I lead them to discover other lesser-known tales. All the tales wound up including villagers. Brothers Grimm Unbound became In the Village with the Brothers Grimm.

I like ... most of it. It has a simplicity that I find appealing. I often over-write. I don't think I did so this time. I often have complicated scenarios. I didn't this time. But I wonder - now that the play is centered around villagers - do I go back and tie it more intricately together as a "play about villagers." Do I leave well enough alone? Does it help the audience to expand on the notion of the village? Or is that restating what is painfully obvious.

I wonder.

For fun, an excerpt is here.

Play Rhythms

2010-04-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

After a halt in my writing for the winter, I am back trying to put together the long-promised summer play for Lakeshore Players Summer Youth Project. There have been times I have written a play and felt the dance and the musicality within. These days, I have noted - without trying - that I am setting dialogue rhythmically. In fact - too much so. If I start feeling a beat as I say the lines, I delete. I don't want the rhythm to take away from the substance. But still - there it is. Finding me. Haunting me. Singing to me. Begging to be included. Sometimes I acquiesce.

The play has the working title of The Brothers Grimm Unbound. Yesterday it came to me that what I was writing was In the Village of the Brothers Grimm. The choices of tales began with a journey of finding the tales about "growing up." But these days, they seem to be about villagers. Everyday people coping with day-to-day life. Probably because that's how I spent my winter and indeed the better part of a year - trying to cope with everyday life. I've yet to include a king or a princess. Prince Charming will make no appearance. I think the world of the playwright cannot help but intrude upon the play.

The rhythm continues to follow me. I wonder when and how to answer. Is the muse calling? Or am I stuck in a pattern? As with all things, I will learn the answers given a little more time.

Dear Educators:

2010-03-24T14:57:00.000-07:00

My challenge to educators and to community-minded people:
I will volunteer to be an arts enrichment person in your schools for free. Why? Because art is too important to the lives of young people. Don't let the arts dwindle because of cost. The arts- supporters in this country are: healthier, more literate, and engage in their community positively.
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Read below:
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All over the country, arts attendance (fine arts and performing arts) is declining - especially in the 18-34 age brackets. A small percentage is attributed to the recession. A larger percentage is because of the declining importance of arts in our schools. Children are simply not exposed to arts on a regular basis.
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The National Endowment for the Arts released a study that may surprise you. And for those who think this is a sports versus arts mentality, it is not. Art attendees support sports by participating and attending sporting events at twice the numbers of non-arts supporters. They also exercise at twice the rate of non-arts supporters. In short, they are healthier.
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Adults who attend arts events tend to be engaged in civic activities and interact with their community in a positive way. Twice as much as non-arts supporters. They are good for the community.
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Arts supporters are twice as likely to enjoy the outdoors and camp, hike and canoe. They engage in the natural world.
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"To encourage literature and the arts is a duty which every good citizen owes its country." George Washington
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As arts attendance declines, so has the literacy rate (ages 18-34 have the lowest rate of literacy in adults under the age of 65), they are less physically active (obesity rose in this age group 8%) and activity in the community by this age group has dramatically fallen. George Washington was on to something.
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Want to do something about it?
Bring arts into the school. Bring me. For free. (Local in MN for now) For the 2010-2011 school year, I will come to your school for 2 hours a week for one consecutive month. Arts impacts many subjects. History becomes alive when it is real people with real deeds. Literature becomes active. Moral and ethical questions are discussed.
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What can I offer? 24 years of artist-in-residence experience, award-winning playwright for youth (12 national awards), plays written for youth and intended to be played by youth that have been produced over 600 times in every state in the USA as well as abroad, former Arts Educator with Minnesota State Arts Board, curriculum that integrates theatre with other arts, curriculum that integrates theatre with books and multi-culturalism. Huge passion for bringing the arts into a child's world. Respect and love for education.
mattkirs@msn.com
http://theatreink.tripod.com

Ten-minute plays learning curve

2010-03-06T14:48:00.000-08:00

The more I read, the better I write. I read for several festivals - long plays and shorts. I am by no means "the deal-breaker" for any of them. I read page-turners - plays where I am tempted to read ahead because I so want to know what will happen. I read plays where I know all that will develop by page 2 - and then I have many more pages to go.

For the ten-minute play, there are some guidelines to help you write concisely for the format:

1. Throw the audience into the play right away. Do not introduce. Bring them in to your world
2. Take usual, ordinary people you know and throw them into an extraordinary situation
3. Take extraordinary characters and throw them into the mundane
4. Have a ticking clock

The happiness of reading for a festival is having to be very specific about what worked and didn't work for you. "It's cute" or "I liked it" are not sufficient reasons to produce a play for an audience. As I mull over works by other playwrights, my own shortcomings become painfully clear.

I am character-driven. They always want something - but is it life and death to them? Not always. What will the audience take away from spending time with my play? Why should they remain in their seats? Is there that ever-ticking clock?

Again, not always. Reading for festivals helps my critical eye. I can turn it on my own plays. Get far enough away from it to read it as if someone else wrote it. And then get out my red pen, re-work, delete and figure out if the play was a necessary exercise I needed to go through or if it is indeed a play worth other people's time.

And while the above have been recommendations for the ten-minute play, they work for all of playwriting - whether you are writing for children, adults, ten-minutes or two-hours.

New Releases

2010-02-24T14:16:00.000-08:00

I have some new releases - ideal for high schools.

Pride and Prejudice: 90% Jane Austen dialogue; if you have lots of girls who like to look pretty a- this is ideal. Plus they get to curl their hair! Cast: 19-26 - extras possible

http://www.histage.com/playdetails.asp?PID=2264

Scheme Space: Good if you have a nice selection of "mean girls" - for the high school one-act competition. Always fun to play the villain.

http://www.youthplays.com/plays/view/82

(The Bread, the Bracelet and the Dove coming soon to YouthPLAYS)

And the work on Brothers Grimm Unleashed continues. Hope to post some note on that play this week.

The Fisherman and his Wife (1m, 1f, 1m or f) now available for viewing; interactive and ideal for touring (winner 2008-2009 Anna Zornio Memoiral Award)

What Kids Can Do - Haiti

2010-01-29T06:14:00.001-08:00

While in avoidance (not writing), I surf the web. I came across a video posted by students from the High School of Recording Arts in St.Paul (Hip Hop High) the students wrote a song for Haitit "Together) and posted a Youtube video. The song can be downloaded for $2 and all proceeds go to Haitian relief.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMbDYNDC3sA

As it turns out, kids can do a lot.

Of Plays ... and Things

2010-01-18T18:37:00.000-08:00

As a reader for three widely divergent different festivals, I thought I would glean knowledge about why shows get produced. I know a ten-minute show that requires a giant tree and hanging vines and all must be stable is not going to anywhere. The set constraints prohibit it. But other than that - I will score a play a 3 because the characters are named A and B and exchange ideas - but there is no conflict. And I wonder how much thought was given to the characters - that they weren't even named. Or I'd notice that one play was once a sit-com episode I saw and someone else will give it a 10 and it's in. Or I am more reticent in my scoring - so an 8 (out of ten) means I really love it and someone else gives an 8 for completing it and sending it in.

So, really what I've learned is that it is completely subjective and as a playwright I need to live with that. One reader really likes the rape plays (dramatic!). Another likes the play on words (clever!) Yet another is particularly timely. A play about corruption and devastation suddenly has new meanings in the wake of the sadness in Haiti.

I am currently weaving together some Brothers Grimm tales. I am at a loss. I don't want to do the fractured fairy tale. I've done the fractured fairy tale. I don't want to Disney-fy the plays. But as I read some pretty horrific stuff in these fairy tales - I know I cannot put them onstage using student actors.

So I am thinking about the darkness - and what children weave from that. For children's imaginations can turn very dark. Adults can be frightening. The night is scary. The unknown is horrific. But I cannot have a "dark" summer. So I jot notes, muse, ponder and play - but not commit to paper. Darkness and light. Humor and sobriety. Imaginings from the morning and midnight.

Pride and Prejudice published by Eldridge Plays and Musicals

2010-01-08T18:35:00.000-08:00

(T-shirt logo courtesy of Eldridge Plays and Musicals)

Three years ago I thought Pride and Prejudice should be adapted in a way to make it easy for schools to do. It's perfect for the high school arena: many female characters who get to wear pretty costumes (that can be very important to a fifteen year old female performer), all the characters are grand roles and if you had a director who wanted to be inclusive that director could add extras until the stage was filled. I knew and loved Jane Austen's novels. How difficult could it be? I thought - maybe it would take a year.
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So, it took three years. I am pleased to announce that Pride and Prejudice is now up and running on Eldridge's website. The play has very specific production information so it can be done on a budget and there is some room for doubling. Check out Eldridge's website for an excerpt from the play and an interview - with me! I'm on Cloud 9 - can you tell?

2010 Direction

2010-01-07T14:47:00.000-08:00

When I began this blog I was knee deep in kids. I was teaching acting to teens and directing three plays/year and working various day jobs and writing plays. I had more anecdotes about working with kids....

And now I am not. I will direct one play/year, teach the occasional course and write. Funny about having the time to write - I'm stymied, frozen, frightened, useless, and bewildered. Doubtless a wee bit bewitched also. By the sudden gift of time, the sudden terror of wasting it and the sudden rush that this is what I have been building for fifteen years - writing full time.

One wonders what to put in the blog. I wrote one page today? As I skim over the tales from the Brothers Grimm, I am wondering which tales to choose that don't have my characters torn to bits by wild beasts? Or put in a barrel studded with nails and then rolled down the river to drown? Why didn't I offer to write a group of H.C. Andersen instead? Of course the Little Mermaid does become foam of the sea... but that has to be better than "torn apart by wild beasts?"

So, that's what I'm doing - writing The Brothers Grimm Unplugged. I have it in my head that I want the tales to be about growing - about the secrets and mysteries that fill a child's head. But knowing that the play will be performed by young performers - I must pick the tales carefully. Because I don't want to sanitize them. I want to celebrate them.

The Year of Writing Plays

2009-12-15T07:02:00.000-08:00

Stuart Little opened Friday, December 11 at Lakeshore Players. It's been a sweet, busy time. When you work in youth theatre, you spend your time in a creative world - in my case - the world of a mouse - a rodent! And assorted cats and a pigeon with a few humans thrown in for fun.

And with that opening, I find that for the the first time in ten years, I am looking ahead at 2010 without a directing gig. I have always thought that directing young performers helped me write for them. Now I shall test my mettle and see if that is true.

At conferences, I have met many splendid playwrights who write beautiful plays for young people and they wouldn't know a child if they stepped on her. I will now have more time to write. Directing is consuming. And I have a grand education gig in the summer - it is more teaching than directing but it throws me in with fifty kids for a month. Who test me.

A few years past, a colleague mentioned that I needed to figure out if I was a director, teacher or playwright. I knew the answer was "playwright" but I was so used to being a "jack of all trades," I did wonder if that meant I was "master of none." I don't like that idea. But the playwright idea - I like that very much.

The Playwright's Nightmare with a Happy Ending

2009-11-28T07:19:00.000-08:00

On the eve of Thanksgiving I received word that my baseball/kiss play Angel Kisses in Back of Left Field would be included in an evening of "kiss" plays. This was especially sweet for me as this is the play I withdrew from the "baseball" evening of plays in the Twin Cities. It pays to be protective of your plays.

Even if the play never did get approval anywhere else, it is important to me to have my name on the play I wrote as opposed to the play the producer changed. If a play I wrote doesn't work, I make notes, live and learn. If a play with my name on it is out there - but makes me cringe because I allowed someone else to edit my work, shame on me. I've learned nothing.

The playwright's nightmare story is here.
My article on why Urinetown is a good choice for a high schoolmusical is here.

My Playwright's Nightmare

2009-11-07T10:55:00.000-08:00

I just had a deja vu where a play I wrote two years ago has taken on its own life.

In 2007 I wrote a little play called The Playwright's Nightmare. It was widely produced and later published. Done deal. The beginning dialogue has:

ROB: (wheeling-dealing producer): "You're okay with the changes right? I never heard back from you so I figured they would be okay ...... I e-mailed you some of the things we had to fix. It's a new play so I knew it wasn't perfect ...."

And so the fictional playwright's nightmare begins...

In 2009, I wrote a little baseball play where a manic sports fan quotes Yeats. It's sort of important. Things are not always what they seem. And it stops my play from being a silly sit-com and predictable.

The little baseball play was accepted into this baseball-themed evening of ten-minute plays - to coincide with the new Twins Stadium opening. Could be fun?

Changes? Well, of course I make changes - for clarification, simplicity, tightening of script, character arc.

In real life, I receive a phone call from the wheeling-dealing producer. Who is named Rob.

ROB: The readers really liked your play. They loved everything - you're really very funny. The only thing they were concerned about was the poetry. Can you take that out?

ME: No.

ROB: Why not?

ME: I think it's integral to the play.

ROB: Oh, okay - it's really a good play, if you think the poetry is necessary - but I must tell you that the readers - well - it sort of lost them. But they liked the rest of the play.

ME: I think it's necessary.

ROB: Okay.

And we talked about this, that and the other thing and I thought it was a done deal. The play stays as is.

E-mail received, November 2nd

ROB: Would you be available tomorrow to have a conversation about your work? I want to go over some evaluator comments.

ME: Yes, I'm available Thursday afternoon. But I'm not changing the play.

ROB: We'll talk.

We didn't"talk." I withdrew the play.

Auditions for Stuart Little

2009-10-27T12:57:00.000-07:00

Last night I had my first eve of auditions for Joseph Robinette's Stuart Little at Lakeshore Players. The play is told simply and with great charm - through story theatre. Costumes are suggested, the props are mostly outsized (in relationship to a mouse!) and it is just theatre at its simplest and loveliest. I expected two adults and got ten. I expected kids - and yes - did get them.

And the things is - as of last night - everyone who showed up (including the three wonderful young ones who cannot read yet) are capable of doing the show. I could have cast it twice. I'm not good at saying "no." And it's going to happen. Part of the pleasures of being a playwright - is you can write in wonderful roles for all those that audition and are up to the task. The hardship of the director - is you will of course respect the script and there will not be room to use all the talent that came yesterday.

Part of me wishes no one comes tonight! Of course I want to the best possible production for the audiences. I just don't want to turn anyone else down.

The Haunting of Will Shakespeare

2009-10-16T13:43:00.000-07:00

It's always fun to receive publicity for a show that walked out your door a few years ago. Published by Eldridge Publishing, the show has a lovely production history.

The Manchester Journal
Friday, October 2, 2009

ARLINGTON — It's Shakespeare like you've never seen before, as Arlington Memorial High School's Varsity Theater Players present the comedy, "The Haunting of Will Shakespeare."

Written by Claudia Haas and first place winner of the 2001 Jackie White Memorial Play Writing Contest, "The Haunting of Will Shakespeare" tells the story of young Will Shakespeare who, on his way to London, finds himself chased by a young maiden, haunted by witches and spirits and enchanted by a group of rag-tag actors. In turn, these many spirits including Hamlet, Juliet, Ophelia, Bottom and Petruchio involve Will in their own stories in hopes that he will write about them.

"This plays exposes students to Shakespeare in a contemporary way," English said. "The student-actors who want to perform Shakespeare love it, and those who are more leery of the Bard discover his charm."

More at: http://www.manchesterjournal.com/ci_13516132

Life - oh my!

2009-10-15T18:46:00.001-07:00

I have been writing as an examiner for the Performing Arts in Minneapolis. Check it out and let me know what you think. Is there something local you would like me to report? It has kept me busy as I learn the ins and outs of writing an article that is:

a. not a play
b. not a blog

I'm not there yet - but will be and my focus is on youth theatre. To be sure, there are other things to report about and I do - but I do like to keep youth theatre in the news and show its value. Meanwhile, I sprained my right ankle (read: cannot drive), wrenched my back in the process and came down with a nasty cold. All of this to say - I've had time to write.
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Betwixt and Betweened has been edited and tweaked and the students have been a grand help. Of course, we lost the two male leads the first day of rehearsal, two others the following week. Then there was the student who broke both arms ... but the show moves on and it is happening.
`
I finished my "little kid classes." The presentation for the parents had the requisite forgotten props (or use of wrongs ones or misuse of the correct ones), missed entrances, students staring blankly into thin air while all eyes from the cast focus on one student who announces, "Oh yeah" and the show goes on. But my favorite moment came from Grades 1-3. It was a story theatre presentation (so I as the leader could save them - if they needed saving). The students were allowed to choose their character's name. One student changed her character's name about every 7-1/2 minutes. When I introduced her character, of course she didn't come on. And she had confused her cast members with her different names - they had no idea who I was introducing. So I finally said, "And the soft-rock-music-star/model named Stephanie played by Claire entered." And she did. All in a day's work.

Betwixt and Betweened

2009-09-13T17:44:00.000-07:00

Betwixt and Betweened starts production on Tuesday, September 15. I have been furiously writing the ending and just was not satisfied with it sounding sappy or too "pat." When you are writing for middle school performers, there is a desire for the neat little bow at the end and I'm not against that. I just want the "neat little bow" to reflect a savvy, and somewhat irreverent age group - the tweens and young teens. One foot in teen-hood and the other foot holding on with their toes to childhood. On FACEBOOK - of all places - a wonderful playwright (E.M. Lewis) posted this quote:

"There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it is going to be a butterfly." - Richard Buckminster Fuller.

And there it was - my ending. For what is a middle school child - but an emerging butterfly.

9/11 Remembrance

2009-09-11T12:25:00.000-07:00

"In the deserts of the heart let the healing fountain start." - Auden

For my article on how theatre has helped with the healing process, click here:

http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-19120-Minneapolis-Performing-Arts-Examiner~y2009m9d11-The-Power-of-Theatre

Betwixt and Betweened continued... and continuing

2009-09-01T15:56:00.000-07:00

Eating, drinking and breathing middle school. The work on BETWIXT AND BETWEENED continues. Developing for middle school is a wee bit trickier than it seems. They are decidedly not high school actors (hence - which is why they have their own school!) and they are both innocent and wise to the ways of the world. That combination is what makes them endearing - but also difficult to pin down. Are the word choices too sophisticated? Am I missing the short hand? Do their offhand remarks come across mean when they should be ... well .. "offhand?"

Meanwhile... a few more scenes....

SCENE 5

LOVE

(MR. BINDING appears as reads his next Chapter.)

ZACH
“Chapter Five. Love. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. It is a positive feeling. And it is sold and bottled to the American teenager in the guise of physical attraction. Do not be fooled. Real love is the best of both worlds.”

(To audience)

Love? Love! I just want to play video games! I’m not ready to deal with love! ‘course, there’s Courtney. Last week in Homeroom – I pulled the chair out from under her when she went to sit down. She fell to the floor – hard. I started to think maybe what I did wasn’t the best idea I ever had in my life – but she just laughed. She didn’t cry or get mad. She smiled and said, “You’ll pay for this.” Yeah – Courtney’s really something.

MR. BINDING
“We’re a little weird and life’s a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” A teenager. Anonymous.

(RACHEL and JASON enter. They have notebooks and papers and are working on a project.)

RACHEL
Get serious, Jason! Pick a subject already! We need to decide the science project today.

JASON
I already told you my idea!

RACHEL
“What ratio of vinegar to baking soda delivers the best chemical volcano?” Get real.

JASON
I am.

RACHEL
You just want to blow things up!

JASON
What’s wrong with that?

RACHEL
Look – if we can figure out if a magnetic force increases the growth of plants – we could be doing something great for the world. We wouldn’t be just another pathetic eight grade science project.

JASON
That’s boring – measuring miniscule growth … day after day … after day … after day.

RACHEL
How about testing different popcorn brands and seeing which brand has the least amount of unpopped kernels? We could be helping the consumer.

JASON
That’s not too bad. At least we’d get to eat. And who knows – maybe we’ll blow up the microwave bag! That would be fun!

RACHEL
Playing video games has shut down your brain. You only want to blow up stuff.

JASON
It’s a guy thing.

RACHEL
I guess.

JASON
And you want to do – you know – girl stuff.

(JASON moves closer to RACHEL.)

RACHEL
I want to do stuff that matters. That’s not “girl” stuff.

JASON
Total girl. And you know – I’m fine with that – ‘cause you are – you know – a girl.

RACHEL
Whoa, Jason! Let’s keep our personal space here, okay?

(JASON quickly moves away)

JASON
Sorry! Just trying – to – get the lists of ideas.

RACHEL
(Handing him the papers with project ideas)
Next time – just ask.

(JASON takes the list putting his hand over hers. The papers fly up as RACHEL jumps away.)

You – touched me!

JASON
I was just taking the papers from you –

RACHEL
You totally put your hand on top of mine. You – touched me!

JASON
Come on Rach, we’ve been friends forever.

RACHEL
Yeah. But not “touching” friends.

JASON
You must know. You know… that I sort of… well things are changing and you know. Right?

RACHEL
I know nothing.

JASON
Yes, you do.

RACHEL
No, I don’t.

JASON
Come on! I’ve been showing you for months how I feel! Girls sure can be clueless.

RACHEL
Last month at Sarah’s party you dumped an entire bowl of popcorn on my head.

JASON
Exactly.

RACHEL
Salt – on my scalp. Kernels in my hair. I mean, Jason – what were you thinking?

JASON
I was trying to show you that I noticed you!

RACHEL
By salting me!

JASON
By making you pay attention to me!

RACHEL
And then last week you hid my rain jacket.

JASON
I was pretty clever with that one.

RACHEL
By putting it under the guinea pig’s cage in homeroom! How disgusting is that?

JASON
I washed the coat, didn’t I?

RACHEL
Only cause I threatened to tell your mom about where you really were last Friday.

JASON
You don’t get it.

RACHEL
I guess not.

JASON
I – you know – kind of – well – sort of – like you.

RACHEL
You sure have a funny way of showing it! I like you too, Jason. You know that.

JASON
But not in “that” way.

RACHEL
I don’t know what “that way” is yet.

JASON
There’s the dance coming up and I was thinking. That’s all. Forget it. Let’s just pick a project and then I’m out of here.

RACHEL
Works for me.
(Pause)
Are you serious? About the dance? Like we go together or something.

(The start picking up the papers from the floor.)

JASON (Cont’d)
Or something. Oh! Here’s a good one. Never mind. You don’t like it when things explode.

RACHEL
Not particularly. I might be able to go to the dance. As friends or something. Oh, look! Here’s a weird one. “Are night insects attracted to lamps because of the heat or light?”

(As they pick up papers they come closer together.)

JASON
How’re we going to figure that out? We can’t ask them. Lucky them. Asking’s … hard.

RACHEL
We can – you know – try stuff. Set out different situations. Cover the lamps and see if they are drawn by the heat. Then set out lights that don’t give off heat – like a flashlight. That will give us some answers. Maybe we’ll find out, “Yes. They like the heat.” Or… “yes, we can go to a dance.”

JASON
Don’t you think they just use the lights to navigate – like we do?

RACHEL
But they don’t – navigate. They just hover around the light. Trying to figure out direction? Or find comfort?

(They are now close together – without touching.)

JASON
That could be interesting. Finding out about navigating – when you’re in the dark.

RACHEL
Yeah. Now let’s figure out a plan. It’s always good to have a plan. Come on, I’ve got a calendar inside. It’ll be fun. Figuring this out together.

(There could be an awkward pause.)

RACHEL (cont’d)
What day is the dance?

(RACHEL and JASON exit. ZACH comes forward.)

ZACH
Just as I thought. It’s really hard being a guy these days.

(ZACH returns to his reading as BETHANY steps forward.)

BETHANY
“Chapter Five. Love. Love is constant. It hasn’t changed throughout the ages. Your parents and grandparents went through the first pangs of it and survived. If you can speak to a grandparent about it, you will realize you are feeling exactly what all of humanity has gone through throughout the ages. It is a bridge that connects us all.”

(To audience)

Speak to my grandparents? What could they possibly know about how love? How I feel when my heart turns upside down and my stomach drops to the floor? I mean – my grandparents probably knew some dinosaurs! We could never discuss love!

MRS. TYPEFACE
“How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love.” Albert Einstein.

(BILL and NATASHA enter. They have just finished studying and are on the front porch. It is the early 1950’s
And is early nightfall.)

NATASHA
Thank-you so much for helping me with the social studies. I get confused with all the migrations from different countries and why the different immigrants came here.

BILL
How come you didn’t ask your parents? I mean, they came here – what ten years ago?

NATASHA
They’re not even American citizens yet! How can they help me with history? Anyway, they are “old-ways.” Very eastern-European. They don’t understand anything. It’s funny because they are always telling me, “I don’t understand!” Sheesh! They can be such a drag.

BILL
I know. My parents always say they were raised on the “children should be seen and not heard” stuff. They always tell me how lucky I am that I’m allowed to speak at the dinner table. Of course, when I do speak – they get all frosted and tell me I “don’t know anything.” They refuse to get with the times.

NATASHA
Parents!

BILL
Yeah. Parents.

NATASHA
Pretty night sky. Look at the light from the moon. Full. Wow.

BILL
Yeah. Wow.

(BILL suddenly jumps up.)

NATASHA
What’s wrong?

BILL
I thought I heard – something. Your parents maybe.

NATASHA
Oh. They never come out at night.

BILL
For real?

NATASHA
They sit inside and read.

BILL
They don’t – say – come out suddenly – to - you know – hang out?

NATASHA
No. Never.

(They sit close together – not touching. BILL suddenly gives a great big yawn.)

BILL
Must be tired. Or something.

(BILL does a very obvious stretch of his arm that is close to NATASHA. He stretches it way up in the air and as it starts to slowly come down over NATASHA’S shoulder, she suddenly jumps up. BILL may fall over a bit.)

NATASHA
Look at that! Look at that! Did you see it? You must’ve seen it!

BILL
I missed it.

NATASHA
A falling star. It’s only the second time ever in my entire life that I’ve seen one!

BILL
Did you make a wish?

NATASHA
Yeah. How ‘bout you?

BILL
I – didn’t see it.

NATASHA
Make a wish anyway.

(They close their eyes and wish.)

BILL
I guess … it’s time to be … going.

NATASHA
I guess.

(They don’t move.)

BILL
Thanks for everything!

NATASHA
I didn’t do anything! You’re the one who came to help me study.

BILL
Oh! That’s right. Well …

NATASHA
Well …

(THEY turn away)

BILL
Natasha?

(SHE turns quickly back.)

NATASHA
Yes?

BILL
Good night.

NATASHA
Yes. Good night.

(THEY turn away.)

NATASHA (cont’d)
Oh!

BILL
Yes?

NATASHA
Bill!

BILL
What?

NATASHA
I forget.

BILL
Do you want me to wait until your remember?

NATASHA
I’ll never remember now!

BILL
So … see ya around?

NATASHA
School.

BILL
Right.

NATASHA
Tomorrow.

BILL
For sure.

(They turn to leave.)

BILL (cont’d)
Natasha!

NATASHA
Yes?

BILL
The thing is – I have this bracelet, see? It has my name… you know –

NATASHA
- An ID bracelet?

BILL
Right. That’s what it’s called. It’s a genuine ID bracelet and I was sort of just wondering if you sort of wanted to – you know – wear it.

NATASHA
Are you – asking me to go steady?

BILL
I think so. What do you think?

NATASHA
I think I’d like that.

BILL
Here. Take it.

(He hands it over to her.)

NATASHA
Thank-you.

(As she takes it, he may kiss her hand and their eyes meet.)

BILL
I gotta split. Getting late. Supposed to be home when the street lights come on.

NATASHA
Thanks. And all that.

BILL
You’re welcome. And all that. I’m on Cloud Nine you know. Just so you know - I’m flying on a cloud!

(BILL turns and with a leap dashes offstage.)

NATASHA
(Looking at the bracelet)
Like, wow.

(NATASHA returns to her home – on a cloud.)

Betwixt and Betweened

2009-08-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

I've been happily at work devising a play for Mahtomedi Middle Schhool. The idea was to illustrate a common yearning in today's middle school with one of the past. It's "in flux" and not done but has become great fun. The challenge? Knowing the performers are all between the ages of 11 and 14. An excerpt is below. I have a great love for that age! Betwixt and Betweened - middle school childhood, adult hood and all grown up! It uses a flexible cast fo 10-50 students.

Betwixt and Betweened

PROLOGUE

BRIDGING THE GENERATION GAP

AT RISE there may be a series of levels each denoting a specific room. (Bedroom, family room, etc. ) BETHANY comes running on – yelling.

BETHANY
I can’t wait till I am out of this house! I want to be anywhere but here! ANYWHERE! But first – can you take me to the mall? I’m meeting Isabelle.

(ZACH runs on with a video game controller)

ZACH
What is this thing you have about the outside? No one’s out there! There’s nothing to do outside!

FATHER VOICE (to ZACH. Offstage or recorded)
The human body was built for exercise, Zach! Get outside and move!

ZACH
I am moving – watch my thumbs!

MOTHER VOICE (to BETHANY. Offstage or recorded)
Bethany! You’re not going anywhere until you clean your room!

BETHANY
If I clean my room, I’ll never be able to find anything!

ZACH
Look at this hand-eye coordination!

FATHER VOICE
It’s unhealthy to be inside!

ZACH
You just don’t get me, Dad!

BETHANY
You don’t understand me!

MOTHER VOICE
No! You don’t understand me.

(ZACH and BETHANY turn and each face an opposite wing of the stage. Two booksellers come on – MR. BINDING and MRS. TYPEFACE. They each carry a large pile of books. MR. BINDING and MRS. TYPEFACE are larger than life fantasy characters. Alternatively “the voice of reason,” and the “voice of questioning,” they appear throughout the play to narrate, question and provoke.)

BETHANY
What’s happening?

ZACH
Whoa! Weird stuff!

BETHANY
Who – are – you?

MRS. TYPEFACE
I suppose introductions are warranted. I am of course, Mrs. Typeface and I am here for your edification. And this is my colleague, Mr. Binding –

MR. BINDING
Who comes to educate, enlighten and educe.

ZACH
If you say so.

MR. BINDING
I do, young Zachery. Now line up. Step on it! You, too Bethany! We have books that will change your life. SELF-HELP BOOKS HERE!

MRS. TYPEFACE
SELF-ABSORBED!

MR. BINDING
SELF-CONTAINED!

MRS. TYPEFACE
SELF-RELIANT!

MR. BINDING
SELF-INVOLVED!

BETHANY
I need to understand my parents.

MRS. TYPEFACE
Self help.

ZACH
My parents don’t really don’t “get” me.

MR. BINDING
Self-absorbed! Here! “How to Understand Your Teen”

MRS. TYPEFACE
“How to Understand Your Parents.”

MR. BINDING
And – “Yes, Your Teenager is Crazy.”

MRS. TYPEFACE
“Yes, Your Parents are Crazy.”

MR. BINDING
“How to Talk So Teens Will Listen.”

MRS. TYPEFACE
“How to Talk So Parents Will Listen.”

MR. BINDING
“I’m Not Mad. I Despise You.”

MRS. TYPEFACE
“I’m Not Over-Protective. I’m Keeping You Alive.”

MR. BINDING
“I Hate You and Can I Have Five Dollars for Pizza?”

MRS. TYPEFACE
“I Nag You Because I Love You.”

BETHANY
ENOUGH! There must be something in here why a teen shouldn’t clean her room.

ZACH
I bet I can find an angle here about how video games are good for you.

(They go to separate levels and settle down with their books.)

MRS. TYPEFACE
There will be a quiz when you’re done.

MR. BINDING
Go over the sample tests in the back.

BETHANY
A quiz?

ZACH
A test?

BETHANY
Nevermind. I’ll clean my room.

MRS. TYPEFACE
Too late.

ZACH
I’d rather do that outdoor exercise thing.

MR. BINDING
We have you and you cannot leave –

MRS. TYPE FACE
Until … you pass the test.

ZACH and BETHANY
Are you serious?

MR. BINDING and MRS. TYPEFACE
Yes!

(And in an exit as fantastical as their entrance, MR. BINDING and MRS. TYPEFACE leave ZACH and BETHANY piled with books.)

SCENE 1
ARGUMENTS

ZACH
(Reading)
“Chapter One: ‘No.’ Is a Complete Sentence. Do Not Bargain With Your Teen. Do Not Relinquish Authority On Any Point.”
(Aside)
I think my Dad read this. There must be a loophole. Oh! I like this. “But parents need not win every argument.”

Now this I will totally show to Dad!

“It teaches kids that arguments do work and there is a winner and a loser. Not a good lesson. As Dale Carnegie said, “The only way to win an argument is to avoid it.’”
(Aside)
Never mind. Dad’s never seeing this. If I didn’t argue, I’d never get anything! And if I’ve learned anything in my fourteen years, it is to pick the battles I can win.

(ALEX enters and sits and turns on a TV When ALEX is settled, RANDY appears.
RANDY is the older sibling.)

RANDY
I’m mad at you!

ALEX
What else is new?

RANDY
You always get here first. There’s something I wanted to watch.

ALEX
You’re watching what I’m watching.

RANDY
It’s not fair! I had to sweep and put away food. All you had to do was load the dish washer.

ALEX
I don’t waste fifteen minutes arguing about the chores. I don’t put on a show about the stresses of the day and how tired I am –

RANDY
I am tired! Wait till you get to algebra – you won’t be jumping up being the “good-goody” child either.

ALEX
I’m not the “good-goody” child. I’m the “smart” one.

RANDY
Spare me.

ALEX
While you were busy arguing and asking, “Why do I have to this and why do I have to do that” in your pathetic whiny voice, I rinsed and loaded all the dishes, sneaked 2 cookies and a pop and got the TV before you. So, who’s the smart one now?

RANDY
You owe me.

ALEXNo. Don’t think so.

RANDY
Your curfew is later on weekends because of me. You can go to a move at night with friends – because of me. You even have a cell phone – because of me! Those extra text messages you are allowed to have? You can thank me for that, too. If it wasn’t for my arguments with the parental unit – your life would consist of Disney movies and play dates at home. I paved the way! Now, will you change the channel?

ALEXNo. But you can have a cookie.

(ALEX produces a bag of cookies.)

RANDY
You know, you’re going to want to go on a date someday.

ALEX
Someday.

RANDY
Mom and Dad are determined that no one dates till like age 17. You won’t be able to go to your High School Homecoming. Missing stuff like that will definitely make you a social outcast.

ALEXYour point?

RANDY
I’ll be arguing with the parentals on that point. When I win the right to date at 14 – I could put in a good word for you. Your high school happiness is in my hands. Now, will you change the channel?

ALEX
Nah. When you win the right to date early, I figure I’ll just be grandfathered in. Won’t have to do a thing.

RANDY
Mom! Alex won’t let me watch my program!

(And he exits.)

ALEX
Score another one for me. When will Randy learn that arguing does not work?

(ALEX exits.)

ZACH
“You will find that the more you argue with your teen, the more your teen will argue with his siblings.”

ANDREW
(ZACH’s younger brother ANDREW enters.)
Zach, Mom says you have to help with my homework.

ZACH
NO!
(ANDREW runs out.)

Works for me. Starting to like this book. I’m going to totally ace the test!

(ZACH settles down to read.)

(We switch to BETHANY who is reading about trying to understand her parents.)

BETHANY
(Reading)
“Chapter One: Do not, I repeat do not argue with your parents. From the 1950’s on, methods of discipline changed so rapidly, they have absolutely no idea what advice works. One day they may be your best friend and the next day they are your jailor. Your parents may be taking advice from the latest talk show program. Stay out of it! Agree to disagree. Watch how your aunts and uncles interact to get an idea of their upbringing.”

BETHANY (cont’d)
(To audience)
My mom says she never argued with my Uncle Gary. She makes it seem as if she lived in a perfect “TV sit-com world” where every problem was solved in thirty minutes. Yeah right. I stopped believing that when I was seven.

(ALICE and GARY enter. ALICE is in complete hippie dress from 1969 while GARY is as conservative as can be. They are in the midst of an argument.)

ALICE
You’re not the boss of me!

GARY
I’m just protecting you like a good brother should.

BETHANY
Mom???????????? Uncle – Gary?

ALICE
I have two parents. That’s two – too many! And there’s nothing wrong with hanging out at Joe’s Candy Store!

GARY
Come on! I see how you dress – how your friends dress!

ALICE
Like – what? I’m in! Groovy!

GARY
You look like – a hippie!

ALICE
So what! Peace, love and happiness, man.

(She flashes the peace sign.)

GARY
Yeah, where there’s hippies – there’s drugs.

ALICE
Whaaaat?

GARY
If you dress like that people will think you’re a druggie. And it would reflect badly on me!

ALICE
Well, look at you!

GARY
What about me? I look like someone you could trust!

ALICE
You look like the establishment, man! The people who got the world into the mess it’s in! I mean, really Gary – you look like Mom and Dad. Over thirty. Yuck!

GARY
I do not look like Mom and Dad!

ALICE
Do, too!

GARY
NOT!

ALICE
DO!

GARY
Shh! You’re going to get me in trouble! Every time we fight, I get blamed!

ALICEThen stop nagging me!

GARY
I just don’t think you should hang out at Joe’s. Susan hangs out there and I know they do bad stuff.

ALICE
Susan drinks herbal tea, stays away from drugs and promotes peace. I like her.

GARY
Susan calls cops “pigs” and harasses men in uniform.

ALICE
So what? She wants the fighting to stop.

GARY
David’s going over.

ALICE
Who?

GARY
Your cousin! He got drafted this morning.

ALICE
Viet Nam?

GARY
Probably. That’s where they all go. Now can you see why I don’t want you hanging with your peaceful group? They’ve declared war on soldiers. I don’t trust them.

ALICE
I’m twelve now, Gary. I can take care of myself.

GARY
Yeah, sure.

ALICE
You don’t trust me?

GARY
I absolutely trust you Alice. One hundred percent! But that crowd you hang out with – I don’t trust any of them! And I hate seeing you in those clothes!

(GARY exits.)

ALICE
Gary!
(Aside)
I just bought some cool stuff to wear! It doesn’t mean anything. Oh, man! Why is everything suddenly so complicated? I wish I was young again!

(ALICE exits.)

BETHANY
Wow? Is it possible? Was Mom ever – young?

(BETHANY settles down with her book.)

This could get interesting. If only there wasn’t a test.

SCENE 2
COMMUNICATION 1

ZACH/NARRATOR
“Chapter Two: Communication. You must realize that teens communicate with everyone – but you. Through the computer, teens communicate with the world and through the cell phone, teens text five hundred of their closest friends. In the interest of safety, insist upon a buddy system while texting. For the truth is: texting is dangerous. Teens should never text while alone.”

MR. BOOKBINDER
(to audience)
A long time ago there was an astronomer by the name of Thales. It appears that one night he was so engrossed in stargazing that he did not watch his step and fell into a well. His servant teased him, “You are so interested in what is above your head that you pay no attention to what’s under your feet.”

(The lights change and we find JESS–
in an emergency room with a bandaged nose.
Impatient and embarrassed.)

JESS
I know! All right? I’ll just wait here. I won’t move. No! I won’t text anyone! What would I say?

(ALICIA enters. She is a mess – scraped and bruised
and totally disheveled. She is speaking to someone offstage as she wanders on backwards.)

ALICIA
Yes, I called my mother! Yes, I have insurance! I don’t see why you can’t help me right away! I mean look at me!

JESS
Alicia?

ALICIAJess?

JESS AND ALICIA
What happened to you?

ALICIA
Don’t ask! I’m disgusting – I know. And the police who brought me here – do you know what they did? They snickered! That’s right! They were laughing at me during the whole ride to the hospital.

JESS
You … smell.

ALICIA
I know.

JESS
… really bad.

ALICIA
I know! Can we move on to another subject?

JESS
Can’t … you clean yourself up or something?

ALICIA
No. I was told the doctor needed to see me first. How lame is that? I mean, what if someone sees me like this? I’d die. That’s it! End of the world. Apocalypse. Throw myself into the volcano and bid farewell to this so-called life!

(JESS moves away)

JESS
What … happened?

ALICIA
Nothing.

JESS
If you say so.

ALICIA
I fell.

JESS
Oh.

ALICIA
Really, really fast.

JESS
Sorry.

ALICIA
Into a manhole.

JESS
Ouch!

ALICIA
Four feet under. Filled with sewage.

JESS
Gross-a-rama!

ALICIA
And waterbugs … and roaches …

JESS
And probably rats.

ALICIA
RATS! Never thought about rats! I’m going to be sick.

JESS
Didn’t you see the warning sign?

ALICIA
They didn’t have one! No cones! No sign! No flashing lights! I walk down Elm Street every day and there’s never been a hole there before. Why would I expect one now?

JESS
How irresponsible of the city!

ALICIA
Tell me about it!

JESSYou should sue.

ALICIA
Most definitely. When I talked to my mom she said she would look into suing the city, the energy people and anybody else a lawyer could find!

JESS
At least it would cover your medical bills.

ALICIA
And my mental “pain and suffering” being underground with – you know what! And we’re totally suing the police department for snickering at me when they were bringing me here. That’s what’s great about this country: Land of the red, white and blue and sue, sue, sue!

JESS
They all deserve it. For not doing their job.

ALICIA
I know! I would’ve seen an orange cone while looking down on my phone. And if they were really responsible, they would have posted a guard to let me know the man hole was open!

JESS
You were texting?

ALICIA
Well, duh. Walking is so boring!

JESS
It’s the worst! I was walking and before you know it – this lamp post jumped in front of me. That’s how I broke my nose.

ALICIA
The streets are not safe anymore.

JESS
Really – there should be warning signs around lamp posts.

ALICIA
That’s what I’m saying. The city should totally have had a guard! For my protection! It’s enough we have to deal with – you know – trees.

JESS
And curbs. Grace fell off the curb and broke her foot.

ALICIA
Sheesh! Don’t people understand that there’s a new world of cell phones and one can’t always be looking straight ahead at the same old thing every day?

JESS
Do you know there are streets in London where they ‘ve put rubber cushioning on the lamp posts because of all the accidents. London really cares for its citizens.

ALICIA
We should start a movement here! Except that – nobody really listens to a kid.

JESS
When we’re grown, we’ll change it.

ALICIA
For sure. Of course, when we’re grown we won’t be walking anymore.

JESS
We’ll have wheels!

ALICIA
I can’t wait!

JESS
Your cell working?

ALICIA
Yes. No thanks to the city! It got scraped on the way down. Oh! Got a text!

JESS
I’m going to see what Leah’s doing.

(ALICIA and JESS text.)

VOICE
Come on, Jess! Paperwork’s done and I need to pick up your brother.

JESS
(Without looking up)
See ya – hope everything turns out okay.

ALICIA
Yeah, thanks. You, too.

(And JESS walks off texting while ALICIA continues to send messages on her phone. She bumps into something as she exits.)

ALICIA
Ouch!

JESS
(Offstage)
Owwww!

ZACH
Well, that just proved my point. It’s much safer to stay inside and play video games. Going outside is dangerous.

BETHANY (or NARRATOR 2)
“Chapter Two: ‘Communication in Your Parent’s Time.’ Communication was much more limited during your parent’s teen years. And while you may think your parents grew up in the Stone Age, they did have phones and what you call ‘snail mail.’ And a peculiar form of communication that probably began with cave man.”

(MRS. TYPE face steps forward.)

MRS. TYPEFACE
“Graffiti has existed since ancient times. To some, it is an art form worthy of display in galleries and exhibitions; to others it is merely vandalism. There are many different types and styles of graffiti. It is a rapidly developing art form whose value is highly contested. It is both admired and reviled.” Wikipedia
(AT RISE LEE and PAT enter. LEE is a mess. Blackened and bruised. They are entering
PAT’S home. It’s the late 1970’s – the time of some really tacky fashion!)

PAT
Come on. Mitzie’s in the back in her doghouse. Dad’s at work. Let’s do this fast.

LEEWhat about your Mom?

PAT
My mother’s at her “self-help-healing-find-your-inner-voice-and-center-yourself” meeting. She never misses it.

LEE
Oh man, Pat! Look at me! You were supposed to be my guard!

PAT
I was guarding you – from cars! I was looking up! Not down! Who knew they just tarred the street? One second I’m looking up the street, the next moment – you’re screaming, “hot bituminous, hot bituminous!” Didn’t even know that was a word!

LEE
It means asphalt! Some people look out for their friends. Some people wouldn’t let their friend crawl onto hot asphalt, burn themselves and then leap onto the cool grass only to be covered in more … gross stuff.

PAT
Some people don’t have friends that feel the need to write graffiti all over the street. And subsequently get themselves tarred and sort of feathered.

LEE
There was a flea-bitten bird’s nest lying in the grass!

PAT
Thankfully without any babies in it or you could be up for my bird manslaughter. Maybe you’ll lay off creating graffiti for awhile.

LEE
It’s my way of warning society. You can’t miss something written in the street.

PAT
You missed the hot asphalt!

LEEBecause you weren’t doing your job! When I crawl backwards with chalk in my hand I expect my best friend to be my look-out! It was your job to take care of me. You failed!

PAT
It was my job to keep you from being run over. I succeeded.

LEE
Well, I have written my slogan all over Main Street and that’s what counts. “Fight Apathy! Or Don’t!” Don’t you love that saying?

PAT
I don’t even know what it means but I’ll defend your right to write it in the street.

LEE
It’s deep, you know. Double meaning and all of that.

PAT
Cool. Unlike the street.

LEE
Don’t remind me. So, I can use the shower? No one will ever know?

PAT
Yeah, sure – I told you I’d help you. But – are you sure you don’t want to see a doctor? One of those burns looks nasty.

LEE
And then the doctor tells my mom and then she takes the sidewalk chalk from me for a gazillion years? No. This stays between you and me. Forever. Got it?

PAT
Your secret is safe with me. You know, you could consider suing the city and getting some money out of it. I’ve heard of people doing that. I mean nothing was posted that the cracks were resurfaced with hot tar.

LEE
Get Real, Pat! How could I sue the city without my mother finding out?

PAT
Maybe your mother would understand. Maybe she’d want to sue.

LEE
My mother would never sue! She’s into this personal responsibility, “take charge of your own life” stuff. All that would happen is I would get grounded. Until my hair turns gray. I’ll shower, wear your clothes home and sneak in and change before she sees me.

PAT
Whatever you say. Wait here. I’ll go get the towel we use when we wash Mitzi . Then I don’t have to explain to my mother why the towel smells.

(PAT runs off.)

LEEThe dog towel????????????? I have to use a dog towel????? Can we discuss this?

(LEE runs off.)

BETHANY
Now, that’s just pathetic. I feel for my parents. Resorting to sidewalk chalk to get your message across. Must’ve been hard in the olden days.

SCENE 3

MR. BINDING
“Pick me. Choose me. Approve of me. The hardest thing of being a teenager is dealing with other teenagers – the criticism, the gossip, the rumors.” The lament of an anonymous teen.

ZACH
“Chapter 3: Approval. Teenagers want approval. They travel in separate packs: the jocks, the nerds, the populars. What each teenager wants is to find his own pack.”

ZACH (cont’d)
(To audience)
It’s the ‘Choose me’ syndrome. We can’t help it. It appears in early childhood and rears its ugly head continually by age eleven.

(AT RISE, LISA and MARINA see each other. It is early. The first day of school and they are outside the school building. They squeal and run to each other.)

LISA
I was sooo desperately afraid I missed you!

MARINA
No way would I go into Homeroom without you by my side!

LISA
First day of middle school.

MARINA
Our doom –

LISA
Or dream.

MARINA
We are going to so rock! Won’t we?

LISA
With your new contacts -

MARINA
- And your hair finally straightened.

LISA
We won’t be intimidated by the “playground populars” from grade school.

MARINA
We can be whatever we want!

LISA
Whoever we choose to be!

MARINA
Together we are invincible! We don’t care what anybody thinks!

LISA
Marina! Get real! We care what everybody thinks! That’s the problem.

(Meanwhile, JOSH and GREGORY enter.)

JOSH
Joining anything?

GREGORY
Kind of like the Lego Club.

JOSH
No way! Total geekdom.

GREGORY
But – I like it. What about you?

JOSH
Band. Have to. If I don’t join, Mom’s making me pay her back for two years of trumpet lessons.

GREGORY
Band nerd!

JOSH
But not by choice! It’s a total financial decision.

GREGORY
Maybe we should join track. Get with the jocks.

JOSH
Are you kidding? Did you see how tall the 8th graders are? They’d totally knock us over.

GREGORY
Just looking at – branching out.

(MEANWHILE, groups of “jocks” and “populars”
enter from opposite sides. They are drawn to each other like a magnet.)

JANELLE (Popular)
ISABELLA! Amazing hair! Love the curls!

ISABELLA (Queen Bee Popular)
Yeah. I had to do it, ya know? Tired of that “straight hair” thing that was going around. I mean, who wants to look like everyone else?

JASON (JOCK)
Got the slime?

BRAD (JOCK)
It’s ready. Wait till the Track and Field meeting. Going to totally get the 6th grade babies.

(And they all exit in a swarm of popularity.)

LISA
That was amazing.

MARINA
The populars from the different schools already found each other.

LISA
And it wasn’t us.

MARINA
Straight hair is out. I’m out. We’re out before we’re even in a classroom.

LISA
Our social status in elementary school continues.

MARINA
What are they? A secret club? Do they send out radar about what is “in” for the week?

LISA
They are the Future Cheerleaders in our high school life. They will bully us with pom poms and set the standards for the females in the school. Being popular must be genetic. We have to totally give up this path. We’ll never be popular. We don’t have the genes.

MARINA
I figure they’re popularity must come to an end sometime. Maybe we’re late bloomers.

LISA
Maybe – when we’re adults, we’ll be the star of our own reality TV show –

MARINA
Or we’ll be super models or discover a cure for – you know – an incurable disease. They’ll be sorry they didn’t talk to us.

LISA
But until then – let’s stick together. BFF and all that mushy stuff.

MARINA
BFF. Come on, we don’t want to be tardy on the first day of school!

(LISA and MARINA exit as our attention is turned to GREGORY and JOSH.)

GREGORY
Forget Track.

JOSH
It’s forgotten.

GREGORY
Slime.

JOSH
Yeah. Been there. Had that.

GREGORY
See ya in algebra.

JOSH
Algebra. That’s cool.

(JOSH and GREGORY exit.)

GREGORY
Not really. But it’s our lot in life.

JOSH
For now. Some day math geeks will be cool.

GREGORY
Don’t hold your breath.

JOSH
Or one day – maybe we just won’t care about cool.

(JOSH and GREGORY exit.)

ZACH
I’m looking forward to a time in my life when I don’t have to worry about “cool.”

(MRS. TYPEFACE enters.)

ZACH (cont’d)
Or tests!
(ZACH goes back to his book as BETHANY comes up.)

BETHANY
“Speak to your parents about fitting in. Believe me, they had the same problems.”

MRS. TYPEFACE
“I am every emotion times ten, I conform yet I'm rebellious, always obeying but somehow still an outlaw, always talking but never heard, I am a teenager.” Anonymous.
(ALEXA and MADDIE enter. ALEXA is very well put together for a junior high school kids in the 1970’s. MADDIE is – well – unkempt.)

ALEXA
I’m telling you – you would have loved it!

MADDIE
All those kids are in high school, Alexa! I would’ve felt – weird, you know?

ALEXA
No! They were all so nice to me. I didn’t have to dance if didn’t want to. I didn’t have to go into the “pot room.” I could just – you know – be.

MADDIE
Pot room? What do you mean, “pot room?”

ALEXA
You know – where they go to – you know smoke pot.

MADDIE
Marijuana???? You were at a party with marijuana??? That’s completely illegal.

ALEXA
I didn’t smoke any. It was just cool being there.

MADDIE
You went to a party with high school pot heads and you thought it was cool?

ALEXA
Believe me, they’re a lot more mature than the kids in our school.

MADDIE
We’re in junior high! We don’t have to be mature.

ALEXA
Next time, I’m bringing you. You can see for yourself.

MADDIE
No way am I going to an illegal high school party!

ALEXA
I’m trying to help you branch out, Maddie. You’re never going to be ready for high school. I could help you … you know … dress a little better.

MADDIE
What’s the matter with the way I dress?

ALEXA
It’s – you know – young.

MADDIE
I’m young.

ALEXA
You’re a teen now. Time to leave the dolls behind.

MADDIE
Why? Where is it written that on your thirteenth birthday you put away your childhood? Is it a law? A commandment?

ALEXA
It’s – the way the world goes. There’s a time for everything.

MADDIE
A time for a “pot room?”

ALEXA
It’s a new experience.

MADDIE
You’re changing.

ALEXA
That’s the idea.

MADDIE
I don’t want to change. I still want to sing in harmony. Build sandcastles by the lake. I want it to be “Alexa-and-Maddie-best-friends-forever.”

ALEXA
Nothing’s forever. Those castles we built? Washed away before we went home.

MADDIE
I know.

ALEXA
So, what’s the point?

MADDIE
The point is – that we built them. That’s all.

ALEXA
I’m done with castles , Maddie. I’m through with all of that stuff.

MADDIE
Just cause your Mom and Dad got a divorce doesn’t mean we have to.

ALEXA
My parents are moving on. That’s what we need to do – move on.

MADDIE
No!

ALEXA
You have to. I have to. The world doesn’t stop spinning because we want it to.

MADDIE
The world spins slowly, Alexa. I will change – slowly.

ALEXA
I’m going to leave you behind, you know. I can’t wait while you make up your mind what age you want to be.

MADDIE
I want to be just what I am – thirteen. Not fourteen and not fifteen.

ALEXA
Well, thirteen is nowhere. It’s a waiting age – you know. Waiting for high school. Waiting to get a driver’s permit. I’d prefer to skip it. I’m not good at waiting.

MADDIE
I still have a few sandcastles left in me.

ALEXA
I’m ready for a new adventure.

MADDIE
If you change your mind …you know where to find me.

ALEXA
Stuck in the sand.

MADDIE
In my castle.

ALEXA
Well Princess Maddie – it’s been –

MADDIE
Yeah.

ALEXA
We’ll still talk you know. I’m just – going to meet a friend. I’ll call you.

MADDIE
Right.

ALEXA
Later.

MADDIE
Yeah. Later.

ALEXA
Well. Bye.

MADDIE
Bye.

(ALEXA exits.)

MADDIE
I’ll miss you.

(MADDIE exits.)

BETHANY
She will miss you. I miss Leah. Best friends forever – turned out not to be forever. Our families called us “peanut butter and jelly” because we were so different but belonged together. For the record, I was the sweet jelly. Leah was the nut.

MRS. TYPEFACE
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss.

BETHANY
Great! Advice from “The Cat in the Hat.” I guess I should be studying for the quiz. But what exactly is it I am trying to learn?

SCENE 4

LIFE AND DEATH

ZACH
“Chapter Four: Life and Death. At fourteen you don’t need life or death for high tragedy. A detention makes for as much high drama as a sudden calamity.”

(To audience)

Now wait a minute! Who are you? Did you ever have a kid? Sometimes experts are so … so … unexpert! I’m fourteen Mr. Expert. I know about real stuff. There’re some scary things out there.

(Zach may slam his book and exit. ANYA and LIZA
Enter from opposite sides and run into each other with a grand squeal.)

ANYA
LIZA!

LIZA
Got the text!

ANYAHow?

LIZA
From Janine!

ANYA
She texted you?

LIZA
Yeah.

ANYA
But I just sent in Math -

LIZA
She's fast. Celebrate?

ANYA
Need the parentals permission -

LIZA
Of course!

ANYA
I'll call -

LIZA
English next. Can't check. Media -

ANYA
Band!

LIZA
Band! Good!

ANYA
Can you believe -

LIZA
Of course - finally.

ANYA
Awesome to hear -

LIZAI'll be ready -

ANYA
Making up for lost time-

LIZA
- always stayed positive.

ANYA
I'm so happy -

LIZA
Don't!

ANYA
But -

LIZA
I'll cry.

ANYA
Me, too!

LIZA
Did he say anything else?

ANYA
The bare minimum. He's a guy after all.

LIZA
But still -

ANYA
- he called!

(LIZA and ANNE emit a little happy scream and hug)

LIZA
It's what we hoped -

ANYA
A year. I've been waiting a year.

LIZA
I know. Some things are slow.

ANYA
Yeah.

LIZA
But it's still awesome that he called. I never thought -

ANYA
I thought I'd wait forever - he's a good one though, isn’t he?

LIZA
The best. I always knew you were with the best.

ANYA
And by graduation -

LIZA
- you'll be all together -

ANYA
No more wigs.

LIZA
You'll have your own hair and everything.

ANYA
I still can't believe he called - at school!

LIZA
He's the best doctor.

ANYA
He knew I wanted to know right away.

LIZA
You're clear. Free and clear.

ANYA
One year. No more nasty cells. It's gone. I'm back!

(The bell rings)

LIZA
Back to class.

ANYA
Back to life.

(And they separate and go to class.)

ZACH
Yeah. We know stuff about life.

(ZACH settles down to read as BETHANY comes forward.)

BETHANY
“CHAPTER FOUR: Talk to your parents. Teach them about your generation. We know it can be boring. But your parents did not come from a world where everything was discussed thoroughly – so talk to them!”

MRS. TYPEFACE
As the Little Prince said to the man, “grownups never understand anything for themselves and it is a tiresome thing for children to be always explaining things to them.” Antoine de Saint Exupéry.

BETHANY
(To audience)
How did they know anything if they never talked?

(DEBBIE enters and sits. She is thin with a kerchief around her head. She reads or does homework. Quietly at an entrance, CATHY enters and watches DEBBIE. DEBBIE looks up. They are fourteen and in 9th grade in junior high. It is the early 1960’s.)

DEBBIE
Cathy! How long have you been standing there?

CATHY
Just for you know – a second. You look – great!

DEBBIE
Liar.

CATHY
Just – trying to – you know – be upbeat.

DEBBIE
Don’t bother. It’s been ages.

CATHY
I know. I’m sorry. My mom said you were “away.” Hard to visit someone when you don’t know where they are.

DEBBIE
Nope. Not away. Here. For two months. Here. Or in the hospital.

CATHY
Oh. So… coming back to school anytime soon?

DEBBIE
Don’t know.

CATHY
How will you catch up?

DEBBIE
I have a tutor. Comes three days a week and gives me all this – stuff. Stupid stupid stuff. I mean who cares about the Battle of Gettysburg when you could be dying?

CATHY
What?

DEBBIE
I’m sick, Cathy. Can’t you see I’m sick?

CATHY
Sheesh Debbie! I thought you just lost a little weight! Was kind of relieved actually – ‘cause the word was going around that you were – you know – maybe – going to have a baby? Which was why you went – away.

DEBBIE
Whaaaat?

CATHY
Sorry. I shouldn’t have said –

DEBBIE
A baby? Me? I’m fourteen years old!

CATHY
I know.

DEBBIE
I’ve never even held hands with a boy!

CATHY
That’s what I thought.

DEBBIE
Funny. Here I am trying to fight for my life while the world thinks I’m starting a new life.

CATHY
Deb – what do – you - have? What’s wrong? Nobody’s told me anything.

DEBBIE
It’s a disease called leukemia. I have these weird white cells that grow a lot and crowd out my good white cells.

CATHY
I never heard of that.

DEBBIE
Your lucky. Cause I know too much. It’s a form of cancer.

CATHY
Cancer? Isn’t that an old person disease?

DEBBIE
Do I look old?

CATHY
No.

DEBBIE
‘Cause I want to be. You know – old. Someday. I want to grow up. Grow old.

Why write? Why cook?

2009-08-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

Ireland.

Wild.

Tame.

And now a memory. As I walked the streets of Galway, I pinched myself and thought over and over, "Appreciate. Savor. Love." For all too soon it is a memory. In my work life, I am waiting for these days to be a memory. I am in the "dark side of the moon" phase where even my award-winning plays cannot find a home. I considered papering the walls with my "You write very well, but we cannot market this particular play" letters. It's been many, many months.

So why write? Well, it silences the voices. Yes, it is true. Writing (particularly plays) encourages a schizophrenic mind set. And writing is some sort of bizarre artistic therapy. Which brings me to cooking. It, too silences the voices.

In Julie and Julia, Julie Powell says, "“I love that after a day where nothing is sure — and when I say nothing, I mean nothing — you can come home and absolutely know that if you add egg yolks to chocolate and sugar and milk, it will get thick. It’s such a comfort."

I love that statement - but I am not sure that is why I cook. When I cook, I can lose myself. When I am chopping aromatics, my head is quiet. I am fully engaged in the colors and aromas and the wish to not cut my fingers off. Fast food does not give me that. Fast food leaves out anticipation. It does not fill my head with anything but the worry I am ingesting unknown ingredients! The physical activity of whisking, chopping and tasting engages my eyes, ears, nose and anticipatory taste buds. It has to. I'm not all that coordinated.

I look at my thyme and I know that if I combine it with lemon juice and a bit of olive oil and throw it in a bag with chicken drumsticks, I will make some people very happy. All I need to do is grill on some blazing coals and it will disappear - amid smiles.

Combine pasta with the bounty of the season, add some cheese and your pick of herbs and you have a meal. A meal that feeds, nourishes and entices. When the rejection slips pile up and I cannot face the computer, I turn to my kitchen. It lifts the fog. It nourishes body and spirit. I will write a scene for my middle school and play and then whip up some porcinis with shallots and a wee bit of cream. There is no guarantee that the scene I write will remain in the play. But the porcinis - they will be eaten!
`

Meanwhile, the first of my series of articles dealing with young performers auditioning in the Twin Cities can be found here.

Now where are those porcinis?

Shrodinger's Cat Must Die! Article and Ireland

2009-08-17T13:34:00.000-07:00

I have just returned from Ireland - land of faeries, leprechauns and wild beauty. And have some exciting news. But first, a small conceit. Below is a glimmer of a play. But more on that later.

- There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
- And evening full of the linnet's wings. - Yeats

A play I dreamed about one year ago took hold during my travels. It is one of those well-loved moments when you start to see the play unfold and know it is getting closer to the time to commit it to paper. Meanwhile, the happy news:

I have become a "reporter" of sorts for The Examiner. I will be covering notions about the performing arts in the Twin Cities. As I write for youth, I will be doing a lot of articles about the "smaller" treasures that abound in the Cities. High school theatre, community theatre, artist profiles, play development and special events. My first article is a short interview with T. James Belich. His play Shrodinger's Cat Must Die just premiered at the Minnesota Fringe Festival 2009. A mixture of pure physics, mad science, inspired zaniness and Harpo Marx! Never did physics sit so sweetly with me! Please, check out the article here and let me know what you think.

If you have ideas for future articles, send them to mattkirs@msn.com or leave a comment here or after the article. And even more information about Jim Belich's works and how he developed the play for the Fringe can be found here.

In the Middle of a Muddle

2009-07-30T19:25:00.001-07:00

I'm in the middle of a muddle. Magic Fishbone is closed. I always go through a mourning period. I miss the cast, the work, the laughs and me yelling "quiet."

I miss the inspired silliness and the moments of truth. I want my own magic fishbone. I want to wish that the next production goes as well as the fishbone play.

S0 as one show closes, I move on to the next. Wishing. But I should be writing more and wishing less.

Only the "next" show won't enter my brain. After a week of zeal, energy and ideas, the paper is empty and my new thoughts are not coherent. Time to let the last show flee my brain.

But I'm not ready to let go of it yet. The production is over and work on editing needs to begin. The production was the first step. New productions and in the end - publication - is still a journey not taken.

Some welcome e-mails flutter through. They ease my tension. Was the summer worthwhile? Did the play work? Was it too serious? Too satirical? Too fairy-tale?

"I just wanted to tell you that I felt this program was excellently run and an incredible educational/recreational opportunity for kids. I have sent my kids to camps and programs for gifted kids for years and tried just about everything in the arts, sciences, and math. By FAR, this was the best program I have tried to date. (and the best value - unbelievable price for what you get.)

I felt my child learned a TON from this program. Not just about being in a play - and acting - though he learned much there - but, he learned a lot about working with other kids. He learned how to express himself and how his expression makes an impact on his message. Alex gained a self-confidence that is PRICELESS! You really made Dickens and Dickensian England come to life for these kids. They gained a thorough appreciation of the difference in times/culture/socio-economies - it was a great learning experience.

I only wish now that he had done tech! That was amazing work done by the kids - a beautiful set, props, and costumes. I imagine kids learned a lot there about art, design, 3-d building, as well as very practical skills that we all need. Bravo to the Tech team - they did awesome work.

The outcome is something most other children never get the opportunity to have. (most PEOPLE never get this sort of experience in their lives.) Thank you so very much - I was incredibly impressed with this program. I would love for my kids to be involved again. Thank you SOOOO much!"

Two other similar notes graced my inbox. I'm human. It helps. Especially now, as I move on to the next play while holding on to my fishbone. And unlike Alicia, I may just have to wish.

Splendiferous MAGIC FISHBONE and the Wonders of Youth Theatre

2009-07-26T08:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes ... when props are missing, costume pieces are in a sink and 50 students backstage sound like an earthquake - you wonder. "Why do you do theatre with kids?" The wondering lasts a few minutes and then something happens to remind you why you love it.

The show opens. The kids come through. Mistakes are made and are fixed - by the kids - instantly. A laugh erupts. Moments of truth and silliness are created. And it is always the very first opening night for some.

Last night, Cast 2 had their opening of MAGIC FISHBONE at Lakeshore Players in White Bear Lake, MN. A very shy, young girl was having her first opening night. She retreated and could barely talk after getting into costume. We spoke about getting in front of the audience a bit and how much easier things get once you've finally said your first line and you can see that the show is going according to plan. The older students chimed in agreeing. She remained wide-eyed and quiet. She looked at the floor, looked at the clock and stood in a trance. Her older sister who is her security, was ushering.

My co-director and I produced bowls of treats as is our custom. (It does produce high energy for an hour!) I had mini milky ways and mini snicker bars. I do confess a love of frozen mini-snickers bars. I had been known to delve into my children's Halloween bags and swipe them. (Bad mom.) I was kidding the cast and mentioned more than once that they needn't finish all the snickers. I was not adverse to taking a few snickers home with me.

Ten minutes later the bowl was empty. Not one snickers bar or milky way remained.

The show went on and was indeed high energy and lovely. The shy young actress was grand - rising to the occasion. There were some proud directors in the back. After the show, when we were milling around, a small hand took mine and was pressed. A small snickers bar was put into my hand.

"I saved it for you to take home." From my terrified thespian who had a successful opening night.

Sweet actors, sweet opening, sweet snickers. The rewards of theatre with kids: young actors and snickers.

Weaving home and work into one life

2009-07-15T17:42:00.000-07:00

2008-2009 brought me extraordinary life challenges. None of which will melt away and I cannot hide out over the rainbow or in Neverland. 2008-2009 also brought me extraordinary casts of young performers that make me sing. (When no one is around.)

In 2008, I presented Lakeshore Players Summer Youth Project with a play near and dear to my heart - Ciao Cinderella. It was close to me, personal, messy. In fact, one year later - I'm still trying to turn that around. But the two casts who presented it, threw themselves into it and made me look better than I was. They were funny, enchanting and in various stages of "Italianicious!"

A few weeks after Ciao closed, I threw myself into Hansel and Gretel at The Phipps Center for the Arts. For six weeks, I worked with a kind, intuitive group of junior high school students. Their kindness spilled into their work, they trusted each other and gave me one of the sweetest rehearsal periods and performance week of my career. I would be leaving the Phipps and returning to Lakeshore for a new play in a week. I wondered at the wisdom of diving into a new play so fast. I was already missing the Phipps performers. Could I work with another cast in such a trusting atmosphere? I was working harder than ever to not let my personal life creep into my work.

But I dove into the next play. Everything became intensely personal. My theatre threads were woven in a web with my "real life." I began auditions for my play The Hanging of the Greens. When you do a play to be presented to families during the holiday season, you truly strive to create the "spirit of the season" in the rehearsal period. Actors give over huge chunks of their time to work on a play. You want it to be worth their while. From the moment the play was cast, I felt there was a huge bright aura surrounding the show. To say the cast bonded is an understatement. They became a true theatre family that remains today. It was intensely personal.

I took a break and wrote Pride and Prejudice and The Magic Fishbone. I edited The Chanukah-Christmas Pact and The Bread, the Bracelet and the Dove. I was graced with Anna Zornio Memorial Playwrighting Award for The Fishermand and his Wife. Life hit me in waves. I wrote more and submitted less. I spent a lot of time in the little computer room - sorting. Separating work and life. Then repackaging them. Together.

Lakeshore Players Summer Youth Project returned with Magic Fishbone. I had come full circle in a year back to a place where I can gather annually with the expectation of creating a new world. I also came full circle in my year of challenges having learned I cannot control everything. I cannot halt a life tide. I cannot write and direct and think I can separate it from my life. What I can do is return to my place of living amid clouds, trying to catch the wind, harness the light and let it fly. And see the sparkles.

The Magic Fishbone cast gave me the sparkles today. They are listening to my notes, taking them to heart and now regularly incorporate my directions in their next rehearsal. I see the cast onstage focusing, showing glimmers of themselves and the bright lights of their characters. I see them work through problems, trust each other enough to empower them to braver steps. The have over a week before they open. I want to guide them now. Remind them of the heights they can scale if they don't rest on current accomplishments.

In a year of wondering, hoping and wishing for things that may not provide the ending I desire, my year of shows with young performers has presented me with happily ever afters. Hours of my life that I am grateful for and weeks that I will take with me always. I am still learning and when my cast joins together to give a gift to the audience, I learn again. Every experience is different. Each is worthwhile. The work is indeed personal. I cannot recreate what went on before. Together, we create anew. Together, they come with their own lives. I come with mine. It's a job, it's a labor of love and it's heart and soul will always be personal.

Pride and Prejudice

2009-07-05T18:03:00.000-07:00

I managed two days off from writing to cook and host a 4th of July Barbecue for 30 people and still managed to accomplish a last edit for Pride and Prejudice. When I accomplish all my multi-tasking, I walk around, head held high feeling a bit "over-the-top-virtuous."

So, a sneak peak: (Designed for teen performers and easy set changes)

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
Adapted by Claudia Haas from the novel by Jane Austen
Copyright April 2009; All rights reserved

CAST: 27 (17f, 10m, many extras possible; can reduce cast to 20 with doubling)

Mr. Bennet (m) 40; As calm as a man with five daughters can be
Mrs. Bennet (f): 40; As nervous as a woman with five daughters can be
Jane Bennet (f): 22; One of the loveliest and kindest of the Bennet sisters
Elizabeth Bennet (f): 20; Perceptive young woman who unfortunately has the idea she can marry for “love”
Mary Bennet (f): 18; Works hard at being taken seriously as the unfortunate middle child
Catherine Bennet (f) 16; Slightly vacant young woman who lives in Lydia’s shadow
Lydia Bennet (f) 15; Very flirtatious and fun-loving young woman

Mr. Bingley (m) 24; A kind and very marriageable young man
Miss Caroline Bingley (f): 22; his not-so-kind sister; prone to “airs”
Mr. Darcy (m) 23; a very proud, aristocratic man
Miss Charlotte Lucas (f) 24; pragmatic young woman
Sir William Lucas (m); 40 very amiable
Lady Lucas (f): late 30’s also amiable
Mr. William Collins (m): 25, a bombastic mixture of pride and servility
Mr. Wickham (m): mid 20’s; a seemingly very amiable regimental
Mr. Denny (m): mid 20’s; well-thought of regimental
Mr. Phillips (m) (30’s-40’s); kindly gentleman of some means; the Bennet sister’s uncle
Mrs. Phillips (f): (30’s-40’s); also kindly; Mr. Phillips wife
Mrs. Gardiner (f) 30-40; Mrs. Bennet’s younger sister but much wiser
Mr. Gardiner (m) 30-40 kind gentleman
Mrs. Reynolds (f) 40+, Housekeeper at Pemberly
Lady Catherine de Bourgh (f) older, definitely aristocratic; definitely not approachable
Miss de Bourgh (f) 14: shy, sickly sort of young Lady Catherine
Colonel Fitzwilliam (m): 20’s; amiable cousin of Mr. Darcy
Georgiana Darcy (f) 16 – Darcy’s sweet younger sister

Susannah (f) 20’s; Servant to the Bingley’s
Sarah (f) 20’s; - Servant to the Bennets

SETTING: The setting just needs to be hallway of that period which will double as various places. There should be a seating area stage right that will be the Bingley’s and other areas. Stage left can contain the Bennet sitting area. The seating areas can be dressed differently for the scenes. You may use servants or a backstage crew to change the tablecloths and small set pieces to that keep the areas specific. The Bennet home should be a wee bit shabbier than the Bingley’s.
Alternately, you may use “acting areas” or different levels to specify different locales.

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

SCENE 1 – Introducing the Bennets and the Bingleys

AT RISE Mr. and Mrs. Bingley are seated in a small sitting area.
MR. BENNET is patiently trying to read. MRS. BENNET has some
embroidery which she is ignoring.

We hear some narration. It may be played through the sound
system or we may see ELIZABETH down stage making her pronouncement.

ELIZABETH
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. And when the fact that Netherfield Park - a country manor near our town – was rented to a gentleman of means – the news spread quickly through our town.

MRS. BENNET
My dear Mr. Bennet, have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?

MR. BENNET
Can’t say that I have.

MRS. BENNET
But it is! For Mrs. Long has just been here and she told me all about it!
(Pause as Mr. Bennet reads a book and does not reply.)
Do you not want to know who has taken it?

MR. BENNET
You want to tell me and I have no objection to hearing it.

MRS. BENNET
Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs. Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England; that he came down on Monday to see the place and he was so delighted with it that he is to take possession by Michaelmas and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end of next week!

MR. BENNET
What is his name?

MRS. BENNET
Bingley!

MR. BENNET
Married or single?

MRS. BENNET
Oh! Single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of a large fortune! Four or five thousand a year! What a fine thing for our girls!

MR. BENNET
How can that affect them?

MRS. BENNET
My dear Mr. Bennet, how can you be so tiresome? You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them.

MR. BENNET
Is that why he is settling here? To marry one of our daughters?

MRS. BENNET
How you do talk nonsense, Mr. Bennet! But you must admit that it is very likely that he may fall in love with one of them and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes.

MR. BENNET
I see no occasion to do so. You and the girls may certainly go. Or better yet – send the girls alone – for you remain as lovely as any of them. We don’t want Mr. Bingley to choose you!

MRS. BENNET
My dear, you do flatter me. I have had my share of beauty but cannot pretend to be extraordinary any more. When a woman has five grown-up daughters, she must stop thinking of her own beauty and think about theirs instead. Now my dear, you really must pay Mr. Bingley a visit. Sir William and Lady Lucas already have plans to do so and they never visit anyone! Besides, if you do not call first, we will never be able to go!

MR. BENNET
I daresay, Mr. Bingley will be pleased to have you visit and I shall send a note stating that he has my permission to marry whichever daughter he so chooses. I shall be sure to put in a good word for my Lizzy.

MRS. BENNET
You will do no such thing! We will not play favorites with our daughters. Besides, Lizzy is not half as handsome as our Jane. And not as good-humored as Lydia! But you always give Lizzy your preference!

MR. BENNET
They don’t have much to recommend them now, do they? They are all silly and ignorant as most girls - but Lizzy has more quickness than her sisters.

MRS. BENNET
Mr. Bennet! How can you abuse your own children in such a way! You just like to vex me, that’s all! You have no compassion for my poor nerves.

MR. BENNET
On the contrary, I have high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. You have brought them up constantly these past twenty years.

MRS. BENNET
You do not know what I suffer!

MR. BENNET
I hope you do not suffer too badly and I hope to see you watch many such men worth four or five thousand pounds move into our neighborhood.

MRS. BENNET
It does not do any good if twenty such men move here, for you will not visit them!

MR. BENNET
Mrs. Bennet, I give you my solemn vow that when twenty such extraordinary men move into our village, I shall visit them all!

(MRS. BENNET exits in a huff. MR. BENNET
may continue reading as the lights on that area fade
and come up on the “Bingley seating area.” As the lights
come up, MR. BINGLEY, MISS BINGLEY, and MISTER
DARCY enter. A servant, SUSANNAH, could be there making all comfortable.)

BINGLEY
It’s quite charming, is it not?

DARCY
I will not say “no” as you are determined to be happy here.

BINGLEY
Don’t you think Father would have approved?

MISS BINGLEY
He always did want a country estate. Yes, he would have definitely approved.

BINGLEY
For now, we shall be tenants and see if the area pleases us. And if it does, this may well become our new home.

DARCY
While I do not believe that a grand estate here would have more pleasures than a home in the City, I do think you have done rather well for yourself. The place is - quaint in its own way.

BINGLEY
I shall take that as a high compliment from you! For nothing will dampen my mood.

MISS BINGLEY
I wonder what sort of people live here? Some villagers can be very tiresome.

BINGLEY
Why, my dear sister – I am confident that we will find the people amiable as in any part of England. And there is room for all of us to be stay here comfortably. One cannot ask for more.

MR. DARCY
I am pleased to be a guest at whatever home you choose.

BINGLEY
Watch it, Darcy. You are in danger of offering a compliment!

MR. DARCY
Then I shall choose my words more carefully! I dare say, your country home is comfortable enough and you will be thoroughly happy here – to a point.

MISS BINGLEY
Have you heard that there is to be an assembly?

BINGLEY
With dancing?

MISS BINGLEY
Indeed. Why, it’s almost civilized.

BINGLEY
Then we shall go and meet our new neighbors. We have come at an opportune time! Don’t you think, Darcy? Or does dancing not please you?

DARCY
Only when my partner is pleasing. But with Miss Bingley there, the dance shall be tolerable.

MISS BINGLEY
Why, thank-you, Mr. Darcy.

BINGLEY
I am determined to love everything here – the home, the dancing, the neighbors –

SUSANNAH
Excuse me, sir. There is a Mr. and Mrs. William Lucas at the door. They are here to welcome you!

BINGLEY
How wonderful!

MISS BINGLEY
We are not even unpacked!

DARCY
I am glad you are looking forward to meeting the neighbors. For it looks like they will be at your door all day!

BINGLEY
How convenient then that we are here to meet them! Shall we attend to them in the parlor?

ELIZABETH (Narration)
As the days passed, Mother’s nerves were certainly discontented. The business of her life was to get her five daughters married. An activity my father failed to share.

(MISS BINGLEY, MR. BINGLEY, and DARCY
follow SUSANNAH out. The lights switch to the
BENNET seating area. MR. BENNET is engrossed in a new book while MRS. BENNET and JANE are embroidering. ELIZABETH is trimming a hat while
MARY reads; KITTY and LYDIA play cards.)

MR. BENNET
That’s a most charming hat Lizzy. I hope Mr. Bingley likes it.

MRS. BENNET
We will never know what Mr. Bingley likes since you will not visit him!

ELIZABETH
But you forget Mama, that we will meet him at the assembly. Mrs. Long has promised to introduce him to us.

MRS. BENNET
I do not believe Mrs. Long will do any such thing. She has two marriageable nieces of her own and is a selfish, hypocritical woman. I have no opinion of her.

MR. BENNET
I am glad to find that you do not depend on her then. When is the next ball, Lizzy?

ELIZABETH
Tomorrow, fortnight.

MRS. BENNET
And Mrs. Long does not return till then so it will be impossible for her to introduce us for she will not know him herself!

MR. BENNET
Then my dear, you may have the advantage. For you are here and you may introduce him to her.

MRS. BENNET
How can you say that, Mr. Bennet? When you know we have no acquaintance with him! Do not tease me so! My nerves are frail enough!

MR. BENNET
You must admit that knowing a man for only a fortnight tells one very little. How can you judge a character on so short an acquaintance? What do you think, Mary? I know you are a young woman of great reflection who reads many books and thinks on them - deeply.
(MARY looks up stunned that her father has deigned to speak with her.)
While Mary is adjusting her ideas, let us return to the subject of Mr. Bingley.

MRS. BENNET
I am sick of Mr. Bingley!

MR. BENNET
I am sorry to hear that! Why did you not tell me that before? If I had known that this morning, I certainly would not have called on him. It is unlucky but as I have actually paid him a visit, we cannot escape his acquaintance now.

(MR. BENNET exits leaving his family stunned.)

MRS. BENNET
Why … what an … excellent father you have, girls. I do not know how we can ever make up his kindness to us. At our time of life, it is hard to make new acquaintances. You can see that he will do anything to help you. Anything.

LYDIA
If Father actually introduced himself to Br. Bingley – why, then Mr. Bingley must return the favor!

MARY
- I wonder when –

KITTY
- I wonder how –

(LYDIA and KITTY hug each other in delight.)

LYDIA AND KITTY
Father met Mr. Bingley! OHHH!

MRS. BENNET
- Should we ask him to dinner? I wish your father had stayed to give us further particulars on the young man.

LYDIA
We shall meet with him at the ball!

MRS. BENNET
And I hope to see him dance with all of you!

ELIZABETH
He will dance with Jane, to be sure!

JANE
How kind of you to say so – but there are so many charming young women in the village –

ELIZABETH
Nevertheless, he will certainly see that you are the loveliest and kindest young woman here –

JANE
Don’t get ahead of yourself, Lizzy! Wait and see.

MRS. BENNET
Wait and see indeed.

(LIGHTS fade to black.)

SCENE 2 – The Assembly

ELIZABETH (Narration)
The day of the assembly finally arrived. There was a scarcity of men but Mr. Bingley’s warm nature quickly made him beloved by all. Unfortunately, his friend Mr. Darcy was not.

AT RISE we are in the midst of an assembly in the Hall. SARAH and SUSANNAH can help set the center stage with benches and chairs arranged as seating areas. You may interject a dance here using as much of the cast as you wish. Otherwise, we may hear music trailing off as people go to their “conversation areas.” JANE will be with BINGLEY. MRS. BENNET with LADY LUCAS and MRS LONG. WILLIAM LUCAS is off by himself. LYDIA and KITTY are together. MARY is apart. ELIZABETH is with CHARLOTTE. MISS. BINGLEY could be “working the room” as MR. BINGLEY is. DARCY is close to WILLIAM LUCAS and within earshot of ELIZABETH and CHARLOTTE.

MRS. LUCAS
I daresay, Mr. Bingley seems quite taken with your Jane.

MRS. BENNET
How can you say so? He danced with your Charlotte first!

MRS. LUCAS
But not since.

MRS. LONG
Mr. Bingley is certainly a charming gentleman.

MRS. LUCAS
And his friend is a fine figure of a man.

MRS. BENNET
But a bit stand-offish. As if he thinks himself better than us!

MRS. LUCAS
I suppose we shall just have to content ourselves with one eligible gentleman.

MRS. BENNET
And far too many eligible young women!

(They all look at one another as the conversation
switches to MARY approaching her mother.)

MARY
Mama! Mama! You will never guess what I just overheard!

MRS. BENNET
Have you danced yet, Mary?

MARY
No, Mama. There seems to be a fewer men than women. But Mama – Miss Bingley was mentioning me to her brother!

MRS. BENNET
Oh?

MARY
I heard her say she thought I was perhaps the most accomplished woman in this room!

MRS. BENNET
But has Mr. Bingley filled out a space on your dance card?

MARY
No, Mama.

MRS. BENNET
Impressing Miss Bingley is all well and good, Mary. Impressing Mr. Bingley would be better.

MARY
But Mama – he is taken with Jane.

MRS. BENNET
Yes. I’ve noticed.

(And the conversation switches to MR. BINGLEY and MR. DARCY.)

MR. BINGLEY
Come, Mr. Darcy! I cannot have you just standing around in this stupid manner. You must dance the next dance.

MR. DARCY
I certainly shall not. You know very well that I detest dancing unless I am well-acquainted with my partner. Making silly conversation with strangers is not something I do. Miss Bingley has been very busy and there is no one in this room that can stand up to her.

MR. BINGLEY
Don’t be so fussy! Upon my honor, I have never met with more pleasant company! There are charming girls everywhere you turn! Many of them are uncommonly pretty!

MR. DARCY
You have danced with the only handsome girl in the room.

MR. BINGLEY
You have noticed Miss Jane Bennet? Is she not the most beautiful creature you have ever beheld? But look – her sister sits nearby. I find her very agreeable. Dance with her, Darcy! I shall have Miss Jane Bennet introduce the two of you!

MR. DARCY
Who do you mean?

MR. BINGLEY
Why – right in front of you.

MR. DARCY
She is tolerable, I suppose. But not handsome enough to tempt me. Besides, I am in no mood to give attention to young ladies who are slighted by other men. I think you had better return to your partner and her pretty smiles - for you are wasting your time with me.

MR. BINGLEY
As you wish.

(MR. BINGLEY crosses to JANE perhaps
greeting people on the way. ELIZABETH and DARCY exchange looks.)

ELIZABETH
Mr. Darcy, I believe.

DARCY
Yes.

ELIZABETH
How do you like Netherfield?

DARCY
It suits my friend and that is all that needs to be said.

(DARCY moves to MISS BINGLEY.)

CHARLOTTE
His manner is certainly proud. Although, I do think if I had his wealth, his upbringing and everything in my favor, I should also think well of myself.

ELIZABETH
What you say is true, Charlotte. I suppose I could forgive his pride if he had not so easily mortified mine.

Magic Fishbone Rehearsals

2009-07-02T06:02:00.001-07:00

The Magic Fishbone is almost one week ahead of schedule. This is unheard of with two casts of 26. This is partly because the play is shorter than in years past and basically has one plot line. It is also due to the fact that the students have been exceedingly good about watching the other cast and getting up and doing their blocking pretty accurately the first time on stage. My co-director and I blocked together - so there are no confusions about the blocking and all line changes have been given to the students as a group.
`
This means that Monday (when their lines are due) the fun begins! Acting. Relationships. Listening. And that dreaded day when they have real props and no longer can have inivisible props that materialize into their hands and disappear as quickly as they came.
`
When you write something, you sometimes have a skewed idea as to how challenging the characters are. I thought the play was pretty simple and straight forward. Throwing the play into Victorian England and giving each character a quirk has proven more challenging than I first thought. At present, the students onstage are definitely kids from 2009. They way they stand, sit, relate to one another are modern children. In the coming weeks the challenges will be pulling them back in time.
`
Oh! And the huge challenge? Having them not look bored when they don't have a line. The kids are onstage for 80% of the play, highly visible and there's nothing like watching them scratch their feet, yawn and draw on their scripts while others are speaking!

Writing one Play Will Rehearsing Another

2009-06-28T16:22:00.000-07:00

I took two days off to go to Fargo, ND and help my "son-the-graduate-student" set-up his apartment. I brought my work but never looked at it. It turned out to be a good idea, because I can somewhat see the forest for the trees.

I have been manically finishing up Pride and Prejudice. I have managed to solve the set problems and I still delete much of a scene every day and rewrite - but I do see the finish line out there. However, in the midst of finishing up P&P, I did some rewrites for Magic Fishbone. My students (who tend to be fairly sharp) were questioning me about some of the formality in my rewrites that is not in the original script. Yep. My rewrites were done in the middle of Pride and Prejudice. Charles Dickens started sounding like Jane Austen. Better not let that happen. There's mine field of authors when you adapt existing works! I am channelling the wrong one!

Dog Day Afternoon - Shameless Self Promotion

2009-06-25T14:39:00.000-07:00

Summer fun: My play Dog Day Afternoon is being presented in Williston, ND in the SUMMER SHORTS: KIDS ON STAGE Festival of short plays.

The information link is here:
http://www.willistonherald.com/articles/2009/06/23/lifestyle/doc4a40fba5030f5279270685.txt

... and I am proud to report I am in the company of some very fine playwrights.

Ironically, I will be in North Dakota this weekend helping to set up my son's first post-college apartment. But I will not be anywhere near Williston. Sigh. Break a leg, all!

Counting Lines - Seeing the Light

2009-06-24T16:47:00.000-07:00

It's an epidemic - this notion among student actors that your role in a play is more important or challenging according to the number of lines you have. You would think I would cease to be surprised after 22 years in youth theatre that the number of lines is paramount to young ones (and their parents). But I never subscribed to that theory as an actress and when I cast - I never think, "Is this part worth their time because it has 45 lines?" I always think, "What's juicy about the role? What can they sink their teeth into? What can they learn from it? Will they learn to relate? Actively listen to each other?"

When I write, I have no idea how many lines a character has. I will sincerely think a role is a main role because it is pivotal to the plot. Once upon a time, my co-director used to announce, "There are no small parts, only small actors." It was his mantra and the kids recited that statement all summer long. But it never did stick. After casting, there was often fallout. And the main gripe was always the number of lines - or lack of lines.

And then there comes a change. You start to block. The kids are given their stage business. They find out there is much for them to do when not reciting lines. They learn they are on stage and may not "check out" just because they don't have a line for a page. And they all come alive. We blocked the first quarter of The Magic Fishbone today. All went smoothly -and we were able to block fairly fast. The giving of the movements and stage business ignited their brains. Later, when we discussed the characters, some insightful ideas were put forth. Much of which we will incorporate into the blocking. The summer work of putting the student's talent to their best use has just begun. If today is any indicator, we may have one of the best Summer Youth Project's productions yet.

Casting with Kids - it never gets easier

2009-06-18T17:49:00.001-07:00

We (with my co-director) cast MAGIC FISHBONE today. Yesterday after meeting with the kids, I spent six hours drawing up a casting list. It was hugely slanted to returning students. Everyone who had four or more years in the program was pencilled in for one of the main parts. Everyone pencilled in for those parts - did get one of the more advanced characters but everyone did not get what they perceived as "as the lead." This is a huge concern for me. The students have a sense of entitlement after they return a few years. There is the notion that they are "owed" a consistently larger part - which I have tried to do. Each year, the plays got longer and longer with more subplots to try and meet the needs of the returning students. And the discipline issues have grown. Because we have been casting largely on number of years in program and ignoring other parts of the process: respect, hard-work, talent and ability to work with others.

Every few years, a wonderful student or two is not given what they feel they deserve. It is a combination of the needs of the play, the abilities of the student and also what they show us during the audition process. It happened today and feelings were more than hurt - it was devastating. I know these actors could shine in the roles offered but I do not know if they will have the heart to throw themselves into something they feel should've been given to a student with fewer years in the program. I would even adjust the play to help them.

We are revamping the Summer Youth Project. It is an opportunity to make things right. It is an opportunity to cast more on hard work than years in program. It's a chance to recognize and develop talent at an earlier age. It is a chance to do away with, "He/she only got that part because he/she's been here seven years."

Meanwhile, we forge on. I must be content to know that the overwhelming majority of the students left practicing English accents and congratulating each other amid high-fives and smiles. The hurt feelings were part of my own-making. I was part and parcel of setting up the expectations of the students - that could not be met this time. As co-director, I bear responsibility if a student is hurt. As co-director, I still think I could heal it.

Day One: The Magic Fishbone

2009-06-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

There are days you stare at the computer. And there are days that move in warp speed. I no sooner had my character list, synopsis of scenes, snippets of dialogue and framework done for Shakespearephobia when a director I have worked with mentioned another idea for a middle school play. A "then and now" comparison of kids today and kids of yesteryear. What is the same? What is different? My mind is clogged with possibilities and I ended up discounting all of them. In the midst of musings for this new play, I started Lakeshore Players Summer Youth Project. This is a "theatre camp" of sorts that I was instrumental is starting eighteen years ago. It's longevity pleases me. The fact that I have watched kids grow up in the program pleases me even more.

Fifty-two kids descended upon the theatre. I know about 65% of them from past years and I am manic trying to make sure I get to know the other 35% percent before we cast tomorrow - by noon! I need a proper "Duchess-doll," a mother prone to fainting spells, a cockney fisherman, a bemused fairy godfather and all manners of proper (and improper) Victorian London children. And I have 52 eager faces staring at me.

I have reread the play twice today, made lists of possible casting, lists of things to do tomorrow with the kids and will likely toss and turn. Young actors think directors go about their business and just cast. They do not know it isn't with cold blood coursing through the veins. They do not know how much you agonize, plan, and root for them during the casting process. They do not know that the director sits out there willing them to succeed.

Shakespearephobia

2009-06-11T18:17:00.000-07:00

I am betwixt and between. I am drawing up a scene-by-scene synopsis and character list for Shakespearephobia as my three-year journey with Pride and Prejudice comes to an end. I love Jane Austen - but sometimes - you just need to stop work on an adaptation and shake off the novel "dust." It was time to write something on speculation. Shakespearephobia is an idea that has been rattling around my brain for a year. It's part group therapy (characters have developed phobias from involvement in Shakespeare productions). I have been researching and collecting the quirkiest Shakespeare production I could find (they're out there: my favorite being a Royal Shakespeare Company production of Hamlet done with finger puppets). And now begins the "what if?" process. What if a decapitated puppet made you fearful of toys? What if being pelted with tomatoes in The Taming of the Shrew leads to anxiety attacks later in life when confronted with anything made with a tomato? What if I'm just being silly? It's summer. The silly season. After adapting Jane Austen and Charles Dickens, it's time to just be silly.

Can a play be one page?

2009-06-10T11:19:00.000-07:00

Two years ago I had a play in the Gone in 60 Seconds Play Festival. It was one page. (Actually - it was sort of two pages but it nudged its way into the festival anyway). Done is set in a school hallways, uses two teen actresses and was written in "teen-speak." And I actually did manage to tell a story in about a minute. It was filmed and shown on a huge screen in Harrogate, UK which was great fun for me. I love it when my plays travel even if I remain home in Minnesota. In the two years since, I have not been able to develop a play in one minute! But others have and the festival has continued - in England and in Brooklyn, USA.

An interesting blog was written about it - debating the merits of a one page play. Check it out here:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/theatreblog/2009/jun/09/sixty-second-plays-theatre

Some of the newer plays can be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/Gi60channel

Theatre evolves again.

Sending MAGIC FISHBONE into the World

2009-06-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

And so ends Magic Fishbone:

SUDIE
Thank-you for making your wish, Alicia! Thank-you so very much!

(SUDIE runs off. ALICIA takes the wishbone out of her pocket and looks at it as the lights fade.)

EPILOGUE
Farewell to the Magic Fishbone

AT RISE we may hear laughter or songs – the sounds of a family at play. The DUCHESS is seated. TRIFLE enters. ALICIA is with the DUCHESS. PEGGOTY is nearby.

TRIFLE
Time for the hot chocolate, it is! I do love working in a home with food. Most welcome! Most welcome, indeed!

(TRIFLE exits as FLEESWEEP enters.)

FLEESWEEP
All is dusted! All is clean! And all is finally right with the world! I do love that walking-dusting doll!

DUCHESS
Dear Princess, I have become a common dust mop! Woe is me!

ALICIA
Fleesweep, do you remember our discussion?

FLEESWEEP
(Aside)
Drat! Caught in my net!
(To ALICIA)
That I do, Miss. That I do.

ALICIA
And do you remember your duties in our home?

(FLEESWEEP takes back the duster.)

FLEESWEEP
I am remembering now…

ALICIA
Thank-you, Fleesweep. The Duchess is magical and we must not tax her powers too much.

FLEESWEEP
(Exiting)
Drat and drues! I was so close …. So close to having that doll work for me!

PEGGOTY
(Stepping forward)
But I am the magical being and not your lovely Duchess.

DUCHESS
What does it matter? I remain extraordinary! Thanks to you, dear Princess. And now I shall take my leave with a smile so you may have your good-byes.

(DUCHESS exits.)

ALICIA
Dear Peggoty! I thought you were gone forever.

PEGGOTY
You never did make your wish.

ALICIA
Shall I return the fishbone to you?

PEGGOTY
It is yours to keep. As is the wish. Where did you find the coins?

ALICIA
I saved them. For years and years, I saved my allowance for my secret life. I thought – when I am eighteen I would have enough to make my way in the world and not be beholden to others.

PEGGOTY
But now the secret life is gone.

ALICIA
Perhaps. But I do know I can make my own way. If I wish.

PEGGOTY
Wish?

ALICIA
Choose. If I so choose.

PEGGOTY
Oh my dear, I had such plans for you! Once you made your wish there was a count in Italy – Count Certainpersonio waiting to marry you. You were to be blessed with thirty-five children and they were all to be good and beautiful with hair that would curl naturally. They were never going to have the measles and would have all recovered from whooping cough long before being born. Such glorious plans!

ALICIA
Dear Peggoty! Do not wish thirty-five children on me! Upon my soul, after recovering from my childhood, I daresay one child would be plenty!

PEGGOTY
Will you see me off?

ALICIA
Of course. I am grateful to you, you know.

PEGGOTY
Whatever for?

ALICIA
For teaching me that I may get what I want without needing to wish.

PEGGOTY
But what do you have? Your coins are gone. You will always work for a living.

ALICIA
I have me, Peggoty. And that’s enough.

(THEY step out. PEGGOTY hugs ALICIA and exits. ALICIA takes out the fishbone and looks at it. She turns around three times. And is watched by BLUEGILL. BLUEGILL comes close as ALICIA throws the bone over her shoulder. BLUEGILL catches it. ALICIA turns and smiles. BLUEGILL exits as ALICIA watches. ALICIA is happy to be free of the Magic Fishbone as the lights fade to black.)

END OF PLAY

And now to finish PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, the synopsis for SHAKESPEAREPHOBIA and bring A FUTURE WITH FAIRIES intop the world.

Catching Up

2009-06-05T08:28:00.001-07:00

Lakeshore Players Ten-Minute Play Festival opened last night. It was a grand night of celebrating talent- certainly the playwrights as it is their festival. And then ten directors and almost 30 actors. After rehearsing separately for six weeks, it's always exciting to come together and become one show. The evening performances are sold out - but if you're in the area do try for a matinee. This year all the plays happen to be comedies. In our current climate of economic and political woes (I do live in the state that currently has one senator), laughter is most welcome.

While my eves have been busy with the show, I did incorporate two new characters into Magic Fishbone. Finny and Fleesweep now have lives of their own and walk and talk. I have gotten very fond of them. Part of me wants to play Fleesweep! In mid-June, all the rehearsal work on Fishbone begins. I am excited to start the next step of the process.

2009 Tonys Awards - the Walmart of Theatre?

2009-06-03T11:31:00.001-07:00

The TONYS and CBS Squeeze out Drama: Read the Link: NY Post 2009 TONY AWARDS.

The 2009 TONY AWARDS has finally been watered down to a short variety show. Honoring excellence in theatre? I think not. The show promises musical numbers from Jersey Boys and Legally Blonde. Neither of which opened on Broadway in the past year. So, what are we honoring? Theatre? Or the desire by CBS and the TONYS to be more commercial and get viewers to tune in to the award show - viewers that probably never will go see a Broadway show. How does that help theatre? Long gone are the designing artists who create magic. Don't want to bothered watching a lighting designer receive an award? Try and see a play without lights. No mood. No punctuation. No scene breaks. It's too boring to see a no-name playwright pick up an award for writing the book of a musical? Time to stop going to musicals and stick to musical revues. They don't have the those pesky words. Really, is "Sing out Louise!" really necessary to enjoying Gypsy?

There are complaints that the plays are not "American" enough. There are works from the (gasp) United Kingdom and (gasp gasp) even France. An interesting criticism from a society that buys all its goods from China.

As we rid ourselves of those pesky awards slated for no-names who create magic from dust, we rid ourselves of the lifeblood of theatre. Yes, theatre is meant to entertain. Entertainment comes in many guises: It's meant to be diverting, engaging. It does not always have to mean "fluff." I am as capable of being engaged in the tap number "I Want to be Happy" from No, No Nannette as I am watching the raging debate between Jessie and Thelma in Marsha Norman's 'Night, Mother. I am thrilled to spend a midsummer night with warring fairies and confused lovers. I leave 42nd Street humming and exit Hamlet debating with friends this perplexing human state we have in common. I wonder about the accuracy of the biographies of Mozart and Salieri in Amadeus. And am empathetic towards all in Lost in Yonkers. I want to lose myself in other worlds, find new knowledge of my world, escape, dream, argue, and see all with a new eye.

TV has succumbed to trumped-up reality shows. Cheap and easily mass produced. Must theatre go the way of Wal-Mart? What are we honoring anyway? Theatre? Or American Idol? They're certainly not trying to sell me a theatre ticket. Which it too bad. Because I am in the small population of people who actually purchases them.

LAKESHORE PLAYERS: Magic Fishbone and Ten-minute Play Festival

2009-06-01T13:33:00.000-07:00

I spent the last two days adding Finny (assistant to Bluegill) and Fleasweep (Chambermaid) to Magic Fishbone. I will continue to edit all week and then the play sprouts wings and flies to the theatre. Meanwhile, I would be remiss to not mention what is currently going on at the theatre - it's Lakeshore Players Fifth Annual Ten-Minute Play Festival. One of these days, I shall give a history of the festival - it was a glimmer of sparkles in my head six years. With the help of many people, it is now an annual event. Sometimes ideas to sparkle into fruition.

The festival is in downtown White Bear Lake this coming weekend. Ten grand plays from some of the best up and coming playwrights writing today. Here's a sneak peak at the weekend. If you're in the neighborhood - drop by! There's a party at the theatre after the opening on Thursday, June 4th. A "meet-the-artists" post-show discussion on Saturday, June 6th and a "pay what you can" performance on Sunday, June 7th. Join in the fun - I guarantee there's something for everyone!

Lakeshore Players 5th Annual10-Minute Play Festival JUNE 4-7, 2009

ACT ONE

This Town Ain’t Big Enough for the Both of Us

by Dwayne Yancey, Fincaster, VA

Directed by David Hanzal

In a case of one-upmanship gone wrong, two gunslingers vie for how to make the town bigger.

Take Two

by Chris Shaw Swanson, Westerville, OH

Directed by Claudia Haas

A young couple finds reconciliation can be tricky.

Putt-Putt

by George Sapio, Spencer, NY

Directed by Kevin Kennedy

Ad agency employees explore a new concept.

Impulse

by S.R. Maxeiner, Jr., Fort Myers, FL

Directed by Doug Dally

Anything can happen on vacation!

Concourse “E”

by James Venhaus, San Antonio, TX

Directed by Mark A. Paulson

A New Orleans airport bar may not be what it seems.

ACT TWO

OMG!

by Michael Callahan, Lompoc, CA

Directed by Jan Arford

God interviews a candidate for Heaven.

Kitchen Sink Drama

by John C. Davenport, Seattle, WA

Directed by Michael Harrison

Pathos, love and drama in a kitchen sink.

Double Dribble

by D.W. Surine, Little Canada, MN

Directed by Caroline DeCoster

Male bonding at a basketball game.

Candy Striped

by Eric Netterlund, Roseville, MN

Directed by Brian Sherman

A "bring your child to work day" story.

Not Funny

by Christopher Lockheardt, Andover, MA

Directed by Joe Hendren

A 911 call is required when lover's quarrel escalates.

Any questions? E-mail Lakeshore Players: mailto:office@lakeshoreplayers.com

Stated Emotions

2009-05-27T10:31:00.000-07:00

I have a plan of action for the next week:
1. Add one more character
2. Track each character (Long and laborious with a large cast but ultimately helpful)
3. Eliminate stated emotions

Eliminating the stated emotions is trickier than you think. In our society, we are used to telling people what we feel. But far more interesting in theatre, is watching someone act on how they feel.

Instead of a character saying, "I am a nervous wreck." You need to have the character do something that shows this. "Show, don't tell!" is a challenge for me. I like to talk. I like to make my characters talk. Audiences are there for the conflict and resolution and not for some character's inner therapy. In the end, if I am careful and studious about this, the play always moves faster, is far more interesting and the characters are easier to play.

2009-05-22T14:00:00.000-07:00

I no longer sent my play off than I thought of a way for Alicia and her Duchess to have a stronger arc. I followed Dickens too closely with Alicia and while she undergoes a change, I now know how to make it stronger! I do embody the saying, "Plays are not written, they are rewritten!" Meanwhile, above is the logo for Magic Fishbone courtesy of the many talents of Joan Elwell, Managing Director of Lakeshore Players. Isn't it grand! Enjoy the weekend. I shall be rewriting.

Magic Fishbone is a Wrap

2009-05-21T13:24:00.000-07:00

It was with great pleasure that I sent The Magic Fishbone off to the producing/directing/designing staff yesterday eve. I will be tweaking and playing. Words will change. A character may come and go but the "bones" of the play are in place. And it needs to stretch its legs and walk out of the house for awhile.

A description and lengthy excerpt of the play can be found by clicking on the link:
http://theatreink.tripod.com/newtheatreink_003.htm

Meanwhile, new ideas for the play will be posted but right now I need to return to my "nemesis." Pride and Prejudice! It's been three years in the writing of that adaptation and I am nearing the end. After spending so many hours on adaptations in the last twelve months, I am rattling and shaking my brain as I devise an original play. An original play - how .... original!

Behold! The Melodrama that is no longer a melodrama...

2009-05-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

Playwright's change their minds. Or this one does. My play-within-a-play" is part melodrama and part conflict. In any case, it was fun to do and it will still be tweaked. But below is a portion of it.

(BLUEGILL and PEGGOTY settle down to “watch.”
The eldest children are in a huddle. The younger children
Spread themselves out to be the audience members.)

DILLARD
Are we in agreement?

NOLA
It is so different! I will never remember what to do!

LARKIN
This is important! It will show Alicia that she needs to use her wish!

(ALICIA enters with FLETCHER who is newly bandaged.
They get settled by the youngest children.)

ALICIA
Have you all conned your parts?

(After a chorus of “yea’s,” they begin.)

DORRIT
I am the narrator. They must do as I say! And now, the Watkins Troupe proudly presents The Princess Who Could Not Make Up Her Mind!

ALICIA
Is this a new script?

GENEVA
Shhh. We devised it especially for you!

(DORRIT may take up a book or a makeshift script)

DILLARD
I am old King (queen) Cole – and a bit dotty, I’m afraid!

(Dons a crown and all make a trumpet sound or a “ta-da.”)

JUPE
And I – am the dastardly Duchess (or Duke) – Duke Devious!

(Altogether a hissing sound is heard. Jupe dons a black cape.)

NELL
I am Princess Treacle…the eldest.

NORA
And I am Princess Peppermint …squashed in the middle.

NOLA
And I am Princess Sweet-tooth – the youngest. And prettiest!

NELL
(Very, very sweetly)
Stick to the script dear, Sweet-tooth, you are not the-prettiest-sister!

JESSAMYN
I am magical! Fantastical! Elastical!

FRANCIS
I am Sir (Madame) Pipster – Duke Devious’s loyal servant.

LARKIN
While I am the hero (heroine) who comes to save the day!

(All bow or curtsy and go to their places. DORRIT steps forward as NELL, NORA and NOLA situate themselves prettily around DILLARD. They are all sewing.)

DORRIT
The night was black. Alack! Alack! But the castle shone bright! By candlelight!

DILLARD
The night is dark, is it not, my darling daughters?

NELL
Sometimes it is. And sometimes ‘tis not.

NORA
There is no sun at night.

NOLA
Nor moonlight tonight.

NELL, NORA and NOLA
But we are content! We think.

DILLARD
There’s a chill in the air.

NORA
But no wood to spare.

NOLA
To keep a fire alit through the night.

NORA
But we remain content.

NOLA
And cold.

NELL
We do.

(They huddle for warmth)

(JUPE and FRANCIS enter)

JUPE
Nyaa..ah.ah! I am evil, am I not Pipster?

FRANCIS
Absolutely, Your Aristocrat-brattyness!

JUPE
So marvelously evil. Do you know what I did?

FRANCIS
I shudder to think, Your Royalness.

JUPE
I bought the deed for the castle for they were much in arrears and soon I shall send the royal family out on their ears! Now, doesn’t that take all?

FRANCIS
I you say so, oh-Duke-who-is-a-higher-class-so-one-must agree.

JUPE
But I shall not do it yet. There’s a storm brewing. I shall wait until the tempest is at its peak and then I shall throw the lot out! Nyaah…ahh…ah!

FRANCIS
Begging your pardon, your Terribleness, but why would you do that?

JUPE
Because, you lowly remnant of a peasant – I can.

DORRIT
Meanwhile… back at the castle - a most extraordinary occurrence occurred.

DORRIT
A fantastical, magical, elastical being appeared!

JESSAMYN
Behold! I have appeared!

NELL
Why look! A magical –

NORA
Fantastical –

NOLA
Elastical being has appeared, dear Papa!

DILLARD
How splendastical!

JESSAMYN
I shall discourse wonders!

DILLARD
Oh dear! Whatever does that mean?

JESSAMYN
I bestow upon your eldest daughter, the Princess Treacle, the granting of one wish forwith she will be able to use the aforesaid wish once and only once and must wish quickly, too. For I haven’t the time to wait upon my wisherers.

NORA
Oh wish us some warmth!

NOLA
Wish us some light!

NELL
I must think!

DORRIT
Suddenly, there was a loud thunderclap!

(One child does a thunderstorm clap.)

DILLARD
My dear Treacle. You are a most powerful thinker!

JESSAMYN
A storm! A storm is coming! Wish, dear Princess so I may be on my way!

DORRIT
And yet another thunderclap! And with it – the appearance of our dastardly villains.

(Another thunderstorm clap and JUPE appears with FRANCIS)

NORA
Oh no! It is the Dastardly Duke (Duchess) Devious!

NOLA
And his (her) ineffectual sidekick Pipster!

LARKIN
Here I come to save –

DORITT
‘tis not your cue.

LARKIN
Pardon.

JUPE
Nyahh … ahh… ah! Look what I have here in my hand, King (Queen) Cole!

DILLARD
It’s too dark, I fear. I cannot see.

JUPE
It is the deed to your kingdom. I purchased it this morning. It seems you have not been keeping up with your monthly payments and now it is mine! All mine!

NELL, NORA and NOLA
Oh no!

JUPE
Oh yes!

NORA and NOLA
Help us dear Treacle! Make your wish!

NELL
Do I wish for light?

NORA and NELL
Yes.

NELL
Or warmth?

NORA and NELL
Oh yes!

NELL
Or gold?

DILLARD
That, too.

NELL
Can I wish for them all?

JESSAMYN
Only one.

NELL
But which one? Which is correct? If I wish for gold, will you leave, Duke Devious?

JUPE
Too late. For the deed is mine and I have no wish to sell. You must leave my castle immediately!

PIPSTER
Ohhh … give them an hour – Your Dukiness -

JUPE
NO!

PIPSTER
Righty-O! Just a suggestion.

NORA and NOLA
Wish, dear Treacle! Wish!

NELL
If I only knew what to wish for!

JESSAMYN
Ay. There’s the rub!

LARKIN
Here I come –

NELL, NORAL and NOLA
Not yet, Larkin! Pay attention!

LARKIN
Sor-RY!

NELL
Where were we?

DORRIT
You were wishing?

NELL
Was I?

JESSAMYN
Actually – no. But you should.

NELL
If I could!

ALL but JUPE and FRANCIS
Wish, Princess Treacle, wish!

- END OF EXCERPT

Silly? Yes. And I hope fun for my young actors. But most importantly, it also shows the frustrations of the siblings and the pressure they put on Alicia to make her wish - to make their dreams come true.

Play Within a Play

2009-05-19T12:03:00.001-07:00

I have a lot of ideas that keep me awake at night. My idea of putting in a short melodrama in Magic Fishbone is one of them. I thought it a grand way to:

a. showcase students
b. further character development

But as I wrote it, I noticed it stopped the story dead. The plot was stagnate. But I persevered and wrote and deleted and wrote and deleted. For five days. Never let it be said I give up easily. And then yesterday, the "aha" moment came. The melodrama could further plot. It would be a microcosm of Alicia's problem of not knowing what to wish for and when to wish. It shows the pressure her siblings are putting on her to wish. The conflict is heightened, the plot moves and there is more understanding of the characters. I am happy. I love when that happens.

In the deserts of the heart, let the healing fountain start

2009-05-18T07:24:00.001-07:00

Life can be more dramatic than a play. When I wrote the autobiographical By Candlelight, I was advised in its development (Bonderman Symposium 2007) that some facts - while true - were almost to unbelievable or mundane to help plot development. What makes for an interesting "day in the life" does not always further the play. I agree. When you write something personal (and in a sense everything you write is personal), you can get caught in the emotion of your life and not see the natural progression of the movement of the play.

When I discovered the loss of my friend, I left a message for her at a "Legacy Site." The entire crux of the play was to thank her for some very beautiful gifts she bestowed on me - especially the gift of friendship. And to share those gifts with the audience. The play revolves around healing. When I woke up to the realization of how influenced I was by my early days with her, it was too late to show my appreciation. Hence, the message. When Candlelight was published by Playscripts, I left one last message telling her of the publication and decided I had come full circle.

I hadn't. I wanted to reach out to her family, but I also didn't want to open any wounds. Healing is tricky and a "blast from the past" may not always be welcome. So, I left a paper trail: my e-mail at the Legacy Site, a blog post honoring her. I decided if someone looked up my friend on the Internet, they would find me. And if they wanted to pursue it, they could.

Last Thursday, my friend's brother found me. Talk about waves of your childhood knocking you down! What I had hoped for - in leaving my Hansel and Gretel path of crumbs - had come to fruition. It was too late to thank my friend. 9/11 prevented that. It was not to late to thank her family. Which I did. Photos were exchanged, a bit of catch-up and they will be reading the play - about their loved one. And I think - finally closure. The happy ending would have been if I found my friend. The bittersweet ending is I can show her family how much her presence in my life meant to me - even at this later date. And through the play, can continue to share her gifts. Theatre is meant to entertain. "Entertainment" comes in many guises and fashions. For me, theatre has been a means of sharing, opening worlds and acceptance and closure. By Candlelight has brought me many honors. Of which I remain grateful. But the biggest reward of the play was this weekend. It was what I was looking for all along. Theatre. It's a wonder.

Adding the Silly and the Sweet

2009-05-14T18:05:00.000-07:00

I go through The Magic Fishbone on a daily basis. These days, I look at each scene and start to add more touches of character. And I expanded a running joke where Bessie-the-maid is wondering if the Doll (The Duchess) is haunted.

SCENE 4

AT RISE it is late morning. The DUCHESS is onstage.

DUCHESS
The young tempests are all at lessons. Mrs. Watkins is recovering from a swoon and Alicia is tending to her. And Mr. Watkins is of course – at work. Nothing but drudgery day after day as he waits for quarter day – the day he gets paid. He has a bit of a wait, I’m afraid. It’s still one week away and all the money has been spent and the food supply has run short. Such is the day in a life when you only get paid four times a year.

(BESSIE enters.)

BESSIE
Crumbs…. who know turnips could crumble?

DUCHESS
Excuse, me!

(And she freezes.)

BESSIE
Eh? What was that? A movement?

(DUCHESS changes position. BESSIE does a take.)

BESSIE (cont’d)
It’s me eyes. They’re not working properly.

(DUCHESS changes position again.)

BESSIE (cont’d)
I’m not going to stand for any of this! I get paid in turnip crumbs…. I clean crumbs all day ….

(DUCHESS changes position one last time)

BESSIE
Haunted! I am haunted!

(BESSIE runs away)

DUCHESS
I probably shouldn’t have done that. But it was ever so much fun!

(ALICIA enters)

ALICIA
Duchess? Do you know why Bessie is running around beside herself?

DUCHESS
I am sorry, Princess. I have no idea.

(DUCHESS makes a “shh” sound to the audience)

- End of Excerpt -

It's quick and it gives Bessie something to do all through the play - for she must keep an eye on the DUCHESS! She doesn't trust her eyes or the doll!

I am almost ready to send this to staff. When I do that, it always comes with a warning: "Do NOT print. This will change." And it always does.

Ten Elements of a Play for Youth

2009-05-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

David Wood's book Theatre for Children has a chapter where he suggests various elements in a play for children to keep them engaged. I refer to it often. As I start the edit for the second half of the play, I make a checklist of the different pieces of the play to see if I have included enough visuals, sounds and characters to keep my audience "turning the page" in anticipation of the next scene.

Some of these elements are:

1. Suddenlies - are there enough surprises to make the audience want to know what happens next

2. Humour - I find even in a dramatic situation, humor can be a coping tool and I look to use it in everything I write

3. Characters - who will they root for? Clue into? Relate? Want vanquished?

4. Conflict? Is there something akin to a life and death situation?

5. Color. Is there enough to engage their eyes?

6. Music and Sound? Does the music and sound enhance the central conflict? Offer a break from a tense moment? Become a "suddenly?"

7. Language - Do they characters speak differently enough - and in their own characteristic manner to help differentiate them from each other? (This is a challenge when you have 26 characters to be played by young performers)

8. Silence - are there times when silence speaks volumes. Is it always filled with words and sounds?

9. Magic - magic comes in many forms - it need not be magic tricks. It can even emanate from a character - who does not see herself as magical.

10. Movement - with or without words, every movement on stage is magnified and do I have enough of it? Too much of it? Are there places where it is stagnant? Too busy?

This is, of course, a small list. There are so many elements - but it is helpful to have a checklist as you edit. Helpful to figure out on the page if you have too much of something or not enough. It is necessary while you write - to remain true to your vision but you shouldd remember that you will be offering it to others. You want it worthy.

Time Out

2009-05-11T14:44:00.001-07:00

The short melodrama between Princess Treacle and Duke Dangerous has been interrupted by life. I have thought more on my eldest's college graduation than I ever thought about my own! And sometimes writers need hours ... to savor... shed a few tears and concentrate on only one thing at a time.

Yes - there he is - the new grad. Newly grown. We spent the day at St. John's University in Collegeville, MN. We went to a 10 a.m. service, a brunch at 11:30 a.m., the ceremony at 2 p.m., the lawn reception directly after at 4 p.m. and then out to eat after that. (We did a lot of eating!)

I realized that I could not settle down to write until I had absorbed yesterday. I felt virtuous - I did not shed tears and become emotional as is my tendency. At least, not until Matthew posted his photos on Facebook with the caption:
"All Growed Up."

Yikes. There it was - "all growed up." And it was true. And I've been shedding sweet tears all day. I pass by his room and think, "all growed up."

We posed for pictures (I used to be tall until I had taller children). He certainly looks grown.

Aunt Diane (also godmother - sometimes I think "fairy godmother) and sister at brunch. So it's all true. I have the photos to prove it. I'm not dreaming.

Grandma and Matthew... if Grandma's there - it must be true.

And the group. With the diploma. So it's real. It's true. "All growed up." With plans for grad school, a fellowship and an apartment. I just need another day to process it. And then I can continue with the melodrama. In Magic Fishbone, Alicia realizes her strengths and in a sense comes of age. Grows up. It happens all the time.

Strengthening a theme and adding a melodrama

2009-05-07T14:10:00.000-07:00

Today a bolt of lightening struck me as I realized the correlation of the status of Mr. Watkins finances in Magic Fishbone to the financial crisis we are in today. I decided to up the ante a bit and bring on the state of Mr. Watkins finances (dismal) earlier so that the need to "wish" is heightened. I wonder how many families today wish for a "wish." Apparently the lotteries are not suffering!

I also took out a brief interlude of a song and dance and added a short Victorian melodrama. Still working on tweaking that.

Then the weekend belongs to my son. He graduates from college on Mother's Day and the family will be spending the entire day with him! Who knows? Come Monday, I may be looking at the play with new eyes!

Strenghtening a Scene's Purpose

2009-05-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

In Scene 2, it is necessary to the story that the salmon gets consumed and the fishbone polished. It has to happen. It is the wish of the magical godparent. Without the fishbone, there is no story.

My first attempt allowed for that. We meet the younger kids for dinner - where the fish would be eaten. And I played around with different characteristics and quirks for the younger siblings. See below:

Scene 2

DUCHESS
Ahhh! So quiet! It is so rare and so welcome. I am preparing for the first dinner shift. You see, even in Alicia-land there is not a table to be had that can sit a family of twenty and one. And so the days flow, one after another, in utter chaos and mayhem. You shall soon see.

BETSY
(Entering perhaps with a bell or a dinner gong. She brings
A tray with the fish and some turnips to the table.)
Dinner is served!

(And GENEVA, CLOTILDA and DELPHINE come
in and sit perfectly.)

GENEVA
After you, Clotilda.

CLOTILDA
No, you, Delphine.

DELPHINE
No, you, Geneva.

DUCHESS
Such lovely children! Such charming, wonderful children!

(And they sit – most charmingly. CORNELIA,
ALTON and PARLEY enter. CORNELIA
counts seats.)

CORNELIA
Alton, you may sit by Geneva. And Parley, you may sit by Delphine.

ALTON
But where does Jasper sit?

PARLEY
Not again!

CORNELIA
Jasper can sit on the floor.

ALTON
That is not a proper place for your brother!

PARLEY
He’s invisible! All invisible brothers and sisters must sit on the floor.

(And they take their seats)

DUCHESS
Aren’t they …
(Between clenched teeth)
… sweet?

(FLETCHER, SUDIE and HONORA enter – all smiles
and happiness. They swoop down and take seats wherever.)

FLETCHER
Finally! A well-coursed meal! Salmon!

SUDIE
I love salmon and puddings…

HONORA
Salmon pudding? Really, Sudie! You will eat anything!

SUDIE
I will. I truly will!

ALTON
Don’t trip over Jasper!

FLETCHER
Sorry, old chap.

SUDIE
I love Jasper! He never eats anything!

(And they sit as MR. AND MRS. WATKINS enter.)

DUCHESS
Oh my. The king and queen. I shall have to play my part.

(And the DUCHESS becomes a doll.)

End of Excerpt

Well and good. Not terribly exciting. Point A would get to Point B but not a lot of excitement was generated. On my next go-round, I concentrated on what it would mean to these children knowing a magical fishbone has entered their lives. And it goes something like this:

Scene 2

AT RISE the DUCHESS is alone getting the table ready for dinner. They eat in shifts!

DUCHESS
Ahhh! So quiet! It is so rare and so welcome. I am preparing for the first dinner shift. You see, even in Alicia-land there is not a table to be had that can sit a family of twenty and one. And so the days flow, one after another, in utter chaos and mayhem. You shall soon see.

BETSY
(Entering perhaps with a bell or a dinner gong. She brings
A tray with the fish and some turnips to the table.)
Dinner is served!

(And GENEVA, CLOTILDA and DELPHINE come
in and sit perfectly.)

GENEVA
Did you hear?

CLOTILDA
I did! I did!

DELPHINE
Magic in the castle! Alakazoo! Alakaswish! It is time for us to wish!

GENEVA
We’ll be living in a tub of cream -

CLOTILDA
Swimming in a pot of butter -

DELPHINE
On our way to Buckingham Palace!

GENEVA
Food - to ensure we will never go hungry again!

GENEVA, CLOTILDA and DELPHINE
(As they sink into their seats)
Ahhh! Food!

DUCHESS
Such lovely children! Such charming, wonderful children!

( CORNELIA, ALTON and PARLEY enter. They are arguing.)

CORNELIA
Stop making lists of wishes. We are granted only one.

ALTON
Then you simply wish for extra wishes

PARLEY
Apparently there are rules about that. Whoever begins the magic determines the number of wishes. Of that, I am quite sure.

CORNELIA
Really? Is there a rulebook about wish-making?

ALTON
There is a rule-book about everything! This is London!

(And they take their seats)

DUCHESS
Aren’t they … interesting?

(FLETCHER, SUDIE and HONORA enter – all smiles
and happiness. They swoop down and take seats wherever.)

FLETCHER
Finally! A well-coursed meal! Salmon!

SUDIE
I love salmon and puddings…

HONORA
Salmon pudding? Really, Sudie! You will eat anything!

SUDIE
I will. I truly will!

FLETCHER
And tonight is the “wishing meal.”

HONORA
(Closing her eyes)
I wish …

SUDIE
(Also closing her eyes)
I wish …

(And they sit as MR. AND MRS. WATKINS enter.)

DUCHESS
Oh my. The king and queen. I shall have to play my part.

(And the DUCHESS becomes a doll.)

MR. WATKINS
I am so glad you feel well enough to join us my dear wife.

MRS. WATKINS
Well, salmon – that’s a rather nice surprise. However, I am not sure about that wish-bone. Fluff and nonsense, I say! Don’t I always say that, Dear?

MR. WATKINS
I have no idea … Dear.

MRS. WATKINS
Well, I do. And if you ever listened to one word I say, you would know that.

(Uncomfortable silence)

SUDIE
Mama… the wishbone is truly fantastical.

HONORA
It is a stroke of luck. Of the most marvelous kind.

BETSY
Salmon and turnips for all!

PARLEY
I don’t really fancy turnips.

BETSY
Ow – that is good it is! Because to speak plainly, I don’t have enough for you all.

HONORA
But you always say, “eat your vegetables or you will get warts!”

BETSY
Turnips are the exception that proves the rule.

CORNELIA
I counted 21 turnips this morning. One for each member of our family.

BETSY

You must’ve counted wrong you did. Better stay in school and mind your lessons.

CORNELIA
But –

MRS. WATKINS
Geneva, do not talk back to the help, please. Most unseemly.

GENEVA
I didn’t!

MRS. WATKINS
I know you didn’t.

GENEVA
Cornelia did!

MRS. WATKINS
Cornelia? Whoever is Cornelia?

(CORNELIA gives a little gasp and a sibling puts his or her hand over her mouth. Forgetting children’s names is a regular occurrence. All are quiet)

MR. WATKINS
Now, we shall eat in a nonsensical, quiet manner so your mother may digest properly.

ALL
Yes, Papa.

(They may hold hands for a minute in a moment of silence as if saying grace or they may simply – begin to eat.)

DELPHINE
Papa? What shall we wish for?

MR. WATKINS
I’m afraid the wish is up to Alicia. Yes, the strange godparent was very specific about that.

FLETCHER
I would wish for peace throughout the world.

CORNELA
But how would that benefit us?

FLETCHER
The whole world would be at peace!

CORNELIA
And we’d still have little to eat!

SUDIE
I’d wish for a pudding in every pot! It would make for a sweet world!

PARLEY
I’d wish for a moat around our castle. With plenty of fish so every day would bring fish! Fresh fish!

(There is a knock at the door and BLUEGILL enters.)

BLUEGILL
Fish! Fresh fish!

MR. WATKINS
I daresay, you stiffed us enough today – we are not buying any more fish!

BLUEGILL
Nooooo – the fish is for you. Peggoty said –

MR. WATKINS
Peggoty this – Peggoty that – am I not in my home?

BLUEGILL
Of course –

MR. WATKINS
And is a man not king in his own castle when he is at home –

BLUEGILL
I suppose –

MR. WATKINS
Then pray – stay out of my castle or I shall have you thrown in the dungeon.

(BETSY pushes BLUEGILL out.)

BLUEGILL
But Peggoty said I owed you some fresh –

(And he is out. But we hear from outside…)

FISH!

MR. WATKINS
Carry on, all.

(CLOTILDA bursts into tears.)

MR. WATKINS (cont’d)
Oh dear. Oh dear. Now… now. Mrs. Watkins! Do comfort your daughter!

MRS. WATKINS
Whatever for?

MR. WATKINS
I believe she is crying.

(CLOTILDA begins to wail)

MR. WATKINS
Yes. Upon my soul, that is definitely crying.

(More sobs from CLOTILDA.)

MRS. WATKINS
Delphine….

DELPHINE
I’m Delphine, Mama. That’s Clotilda.

MRS. WATKINS
Very good. Clotilda, why are you crying?

CLOTILDA
Because Fletcher wished for fresh fish and then Mr. Bluegill entered offering us fresh fish and now I fear our wish is used up – on fffffressshhhh……. Fish!

(ALL Gasp.)

MRS. WATKINS
Fluff and nonsense – that’s what I always say. Don’t I dear?

MR. WATKINS
If you say so. I, for one, have never heard you say that.

ALTON
But what if Clotilda’s right? What if we used up our wish? All we will have is a lifetime of fresh fish!

End of excerpt

So some character is still revealed - but the excitement and drama over the wish is heightened. Is it done? Of course not. I'll be done a few days before production. After trying to make each scene more specific, I have come to realize that my cast of characters needs to change. My idea of the three cooks for the family (each quitting every two scenes) is not panning out. I still need the extra characters, so I am toying with a chamber maid for the family and possibly .... a fairy god-parent in training. But - I'll think about that - tomorrow.

The Purpose of Scenes

2009-05-05T09:02:00.000-07:00

There is an old adage? joke? about character motivation.

The director tells the actor to enter. Indeed - the script tells the actor to enter. The actor doesn't enter. The director again tells the actor to enter. The actor peeks from the wings and exclaims intensely,

"I don't feel it! What is my motivation?"

The director replies,

"Your paycheck is your motivation."

And the touchy-feely actor may then choose to feel that is not a proper answer and forgo the paycheck (seldom happens; note: unemployment in Actor's Equity Union: 92-96%) or - enter even though not motivated.

In truth - it is the playwright's job - to see to it that all actors have an entrance for a reason. If they don't need to be there - why write them?

I decided to take a different approach as I edit the script. Instead of going through each character line-by-line - which I eventually will do - I decided to see if all my scenes needed to be there. Did they further the plot?

And found I had some extraneous scenes - or my scenes needed to be there but I neglected to follow my own wisdom and need to change them so they move the story along.

Below are the scenes and their purposes:

THE MAGIC FISHBONE SCENES
Purpose

PROLOGUE: Introduce notion of “fairy world” vs “real world” which will set up play; introduction of Watkins family

SCENE 1: Acquisition of Magic Fishbone; introduction of magical godparent

SCENE 2: Knowledge of Magic Fishbone and implementing the instructions of Peggoty
(1st cook quits)

SCENE 3: Crisis #1 – (Children hurt) solved by Alicia
(1st visit by Fishmonger)
(1st visit by Peggoty)
(2nd cook quits)

SCENE 4: Crisis #2 – (Children hungry) solved by Alicia
(2nd visit by Fishmonger)
(2nd visit by Peggoty)
(3rd cook quits)

SCENE 5: Watkins family in despair – Wishes in the Night – we see what the children want

SCENE 6: 3rd crisis – (no money for home, food or “castle”) Mystery as to how it is solved. All think Alicia finally wished

EPILOGUE: Last visit by Peggoty; Peggoty’s blessings are given; Alicia reveals the truth; happily ever after

I still need the fishmonger on one more time (BLUE GILL is a running joke which does further the plot). Tomorrow I will show you how Scene 3 changed - because I realized I was not writing to further the play but rather to give my young performers lines. Taking my outline and giving it a purpose - it's given new life to the play.

Wishing

2009-05-04T10:49:00.001-07:00

I am wishing the morning did not happen. It was not a stellar day. As proof, come visit my day here.
`
Determined to get the play out and about to staff by the end of the week, I took notes on all I wanted to accomplish. And then - this morning happened. I edited 6 lines, wrote 4 and obsessed on the no-good-horrible morning.
'
I still need a scene for some of the characters to have their place in the sun. But I could only think about things like "how could I get a ticket for not having car insurance when I did have car insurance and the officer knew that?" "Is there a fifteen second time limit for getting your insurance out of the glove compartment?" (It took me 30 seconds, but he already wrote the ticket.) I dreamed of other plays. I thought of "My day in court" plays.
'
And then - found my scene. My scene - late at night - where all the children are frustrated with their elder sister for not making a wish and making life easier for them. And my young performers will shine. Sometimes when you have the worst morning in the world, the muse arrives to ease your afternoon.

The Ending for Magic Fishbone

2009-05-03T16:22:00.000-07:00

Charles Dickens has an ending for The Magic Fishbone that is chock full of irony, silliness and sweetness. I want to use it. The trouble is, I'm never going to have Alicia make her wish. And the Fairy Godparent ("Grandmarina" in Charles Dickens' story) bestows this blessing after Alicia makes her wish.

"My dears, you shall have thirty-five children, and they will be good and beautiful. Seventeen of your children will be boys and eighteen will be girls. The hair of the whole of your children will curl naturally. They will never have the measles and will have recovered from whooping cough before being born."

There is a "hip, hip hurrah" and then Grandmarina destroys the magic fishbone. I am not sure the eldest of 19 children who is charged to take care of them - would consider a large family of her own! And I like to think the magic fishbone lives on - ever after. But somewhere, somehow, I am going to use that speech ...

Layering Magic Fishbone

2009-05-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

Today I went through the play and "layered" it. I like "freeze-frames." They were so pretty in The Hanging of the Greens and I thought they would establish the difference between the "real" world and "Alicia-land." I also thought it could be effective as Peggoty (Magical Godparent) pops in and out of the picture. One slight change - is I had originally thought Peggoty could only be played by a male. But as I reread him - I realize "he" could also be a "she." It doesn't matter. A Magical Godfather could be more fun than the traditional "fairy godmother." But in the end - the role should be played by the best actor/actress for the part. So I will leave the gender open.

I also discovered that my perfect Victorian doll/narrator (Duchess de Leche) needs a moment where she is not "perfect" and in fact - finally has a meltdown. That also gives the performer something to play with - as the character changes and grows - even if it is a doll!

On Monday, I will be posting another scene. The weekend is for tweaking/changing/editing and the old adage, "Plays are not written. They are rewritten."

Edit

2009-04-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

Today I went back to the beginning. I posted the prologue a week ago and today it was time to "fill it in." To start identifying who some of these siblings are. So the original prologue which read like this:

All rights reserved

ALICIA
Good morning, Duchess. What a fine day it will be!

(And she freezes in a pose.)

DUCHESS
Next in line are three exceedingly literate triplets: Dorrit, Jupe and Dillard.

(DORRIT, JUPE and DILLARD enter with books and assume a studious pose.)

DUCHESS
I told you they were bookish. After our studious triplets, we have the three crafters – always hard at work.

(NELL, NORA and NOLA enter and assume a needle-crafting position.)

Nothing escapes their detailed eye.

Now reads like this:

ALICIA
Good morning, Duchess. What a fine day it will be!

(And she freezes in a pose.)

DUCHESS
Next in line are three exceedingly literate triplets: Dorrit, Jupe and Dillard.

(DORRIT, JUPE and DILLARD enter with books and
assume a studious pose.)

DILLARD
I think, therefore I am.

JUPE
There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so.

DORRIT
Thought is action – in rehearsal.

DUCHESS
I told you they were bookish. After our studious triplets, we have the three crafters – always hard at work.

(NELL, NORA and NOLA enter and assume
a needle-crafting position.)

Nothing escapes their detailed eye.

NELL
You dropped another stitch!

NORA
I didn’t try to.

NOLA
A stitch in time saves nine.

NELL and NORA
Whaaat?

Small changes. But it allows the audience to hear a few more voices and start to figure out who these characters are. I have been doing this all through the play and if I do my job right, my young actors will have a branch to grab as they dig into their characters and the audience will understand the characters and be able to invest in them.

When you create a large cast ...

2009-04-29T06:34:00.000-07:00

... you need to reread the play over and over and over ... well you get the idea. I am in the fun stuff. The play is there. What needs to happen - has happened. Alicia has been presented with three challenges and has been able to solve them without the use of the magic fishbone. She is preserving her one wish for when she cannot solve a problem.

Now is the time to make sure each character has their own attributes. It is easy to have 19 siblings sound alike. If that is the case - then I do not need 19 siblings - even if Charles Dickens himself decided to write them. And he did write them - but more as a collective group. Except for Alicia, none of her brothers and sisters are detailed.

Her mother swoons a lot. I would swoon a lot of I had nineteen children! The father - is over-worked, worried and dejected. Supporting such a large family will do that to a man! Alicia, of course, has decided she is a princess in Alicia-land and as such has many resources in her mind. But the brothers and sisters?????

So, today - I play. I go over each line that the siblings have and decide if I had included specific behavior that would make sense. What is it like to be one of the oldest in the large family? The baby? The middle child? What sort of inner resources do they have?

So, I sit with a sheet and walk around talking to myself - trying to "hear" them. Does one always primp? Trying to stand out in her own way? Does another always have her nose in a book - to escape the chaos around her? Does one always want to takeover - to find a means of control? And what about the "silly?" Is there a practical joker? A giggler? A con artist? Today, I will let them tell me.

The Magic Begins: Scene 1

2009-04-28T12:13:00.000-07:00

SCENE 1

(It is quiet. The DUCHESS is frozen as MR. WATKINS
makes his way to the door. He is off to work. ALICIA
enters carrying many things. Laundry, toys, books, or
an incoherent lump of odds and ends.)

MR. WATKINS
Your mother is resting, Alicia?

ALICIA
Yes, Papa. She often naps for days after one of her swoons.

MR. WATKINS
And your brothers and sisters are off to lessons?

ALICIA
Indeed Papa. You kissed them good-bye. Don’t you remember?

MR. WATKINS
Now that you mention it, I am beginning to recollect. Have you thought out dinner?

ALICIA
Indeed, Papa. My mother, Mrs. Watkins rather fancied fish.

MR. WATKINS
Fish? That is very dear, is it not?

ALICIA
I can stretch it so it’s a proper meal.

MR. WATKINS
I believe there to be a proper way of picking out fish. I do not have the mind for it.

ALICIA
Come, Papa. I will help you.

(ALICIA drops what she is carrying in a mass – somewhere.)

I am ready.

(And MR. WATKINS and ALICIA exit. The DUCHESS springs to life, and carries it off.)

DUCHESS
Much to do, much to do, much to do.

(And a Fish Wagon is brought on or a small market spied elsewhere. ALICIA and MR. WATKINS are checking the fish.)

BLUEGILL
Fresh Fish here! I SAY, FRESH FISH!

MR. WATKINS
Yes…. I hear perfectly well, thank-you. No need to scream.

BLUEGILL
OH! HELLO! WANT SOME COD?

MR. WATKINS
I don’t rightly know.

(PEGGOTY is spied in a corner.)

PEGGOTY
Pssst… the salmon!

MR. WATKINS
This whitefish looks fair, don’t you think Alicia?

PEGGOTY
You’ll be wanting the salmon!

ALICIA
The whitefish looks yellow, Papa.

BLUEGILL
A little lemon-water and he’ll be a whitewashed white fish fresh from the sea!

PEGGOTY
The salmon!

ALICIA
Salmon!

MR. WATKINS
Expensive –

BLUEGILL
But tasty. Salmon it is. I’ll just wrap it up –

MR.W ATKINS
But I didn’t –

PEGGOTY
But you did –

MR. WATKINS
I say –

PEGGOTY
No! I say!

MR. WATKINS
I don’t know you –

PEGGOTY
But I know you … and the Princess Alicia.

MR. WATKINS
Who?

PEGGOTY
For I am the Princess’s magical godparent.

MR. WATKINS
Say, what?

BLUEGILL
Say, who?

ALICIA
I always wished for a magical godparent.

PEGGOTY
And I heard! From as far away as … “God-parent-land.” I have come to your assistance.

MR. WATKINS
Here! Here! There will be no interfering in my daughter’s life or in my fish order!

PEGGOTY
Ignore this man who does nothing but utter complaints and lend me your ear –

MR. WATKINS
Alicia!

PEGGOTY
Tonight in Alicia-land, make sure everyone gets a taste of the salmon –

MR. WATKINS
Everyone? It may not agree with everyone.

PEGGOTY
Quiet, silly man. You just want more for yourself! And when all is consumed, wash and dry the fishbone!

MR. WATKINS
Are you mad?

PEGGOTY
Polish it till is glistens and keep it in your pocket.

MR. WATKINS
Oh, the odor!

PEGGOTY
And when it is time – you may make a wish on it and it will be granted.

MR. WATKINS
Nonsense. Spreading druft and drues about magic!

PEGGOTY
If you doubt my supernatural abilities, behold!

(PEGGOTY lifts up a piece of fish and MR. WATKINS
Is instantly mute. Although he tries to make sounds.)

BLUEGILL
OW! I have some children I’d like to do that to, I do!

PEGGOTY
Jolly good! I love when I get to use my magic!

ALICIA
Turn him back, turn him back, magical godparent!

PEGGOTY
Itr’s Peggoty, dear Princess. Just plain Peggoty!

ALICIA
Dear Peggoty, return my father to his natural talking state if you please!

PEGGOTY
As you wish. I rather fancied the quiet.

(PEGGOTY turns him back.)

MR. WATKINS!
Well, I never! That was amazing. You truly are magical.

PEGGOTY
That I am and I am what I said. Now, do you remember your instructions?

ALICIA
Yes, Peggoty. How will I know when it is time to wish?

PEGGOTY
When all else fails, I will be waiting to help. Now, off with you! There are others in need. I can’t be doing a layabout with you all day – even if you are a royal princess!

BLUEGILL
80 pence and you’re on your way.

MR. WATKINS
80 pence! But the sign said 40!

BLUEGILL
40 pence for regular salmon. 80 when it has a magic bone.

MR. WATKINS
I never – oh! I daresay I shall be late. The clock ticks on. Here. Ta ta,Alicia.

ALICIA
Good-bye, Father.

(And they separate and exit.)

PEGGOTY
You owe that family 40 pence, Bluegill. See that they get 40 pence worth of fresh fish this week. Fresh, Bluegill. Fresh! Or you won’t be speaking for a week.

BLUEGILL
You … wouldn’t happen to be my fairy godparent now, would you?

PEGGOTY
Let’s just say, I will to it that you always get what you deserve, eh?

(BLUEGILL and PEGGOTY look at each other as the lights fade to black.)